‘Phil’s Quick Capsule Review’ (a nod to legendary comedian Bill Hicks who coined the phrase when he reviewed ‘Piece Of Shit’ movie Basic Instinct)… where a perfect 10 is rarer than a rain free British summer!
Written by Phil Hobden – UK based podcaster, writer and former filmmaker. Part of the All Things Film network…
On this episode of the podcast we talk about the latest Tom Cruise stunt fest Mission: Impossible – Fallout or how hell do I correctly punctuate this title??? Warning – MILD spoilers.
Hosted by Award winning filmmaker Ross Boyask and blogger/writer/failed filmmaker Phil Hobden.
Films Discussed: Mission:Impossible – Fallout, Mission:Impossible, Mission:Impossible – Rogue Nation, Mission:Impossible – Ghost Protocol, Mission:Impossible 2, Mission:Impossible 3, Police Academy 6, Justice league, The Way Of The Gun, Jack Reacher, Taken 2, The Bourne Ultimatum, The mummy, The Dark Knight
Phil’s Quick look at what’s wetting his whistle for the upcoming year in films…
Well 2017 saw Marvel driver big and DC retain it’s patchy record. Horror stood out overall as most of the big Blockbusters fell short. 2018 has the promise to be even more mixed… so here’s the films I’m most looking forward to in 2017. And a few that I’d be happy to miss.
Most Excited: Avengers: Infinity War Like it or not this is the biggest film of the year and whilst I have reservations (Age Of Ultron wasn’t great and the trailer did little for this latest instalment did little for me) BUT Marvel have been building to this for over 10 years and with the talent involved both on screen and off this could be a once in a life time film. Or Justice League Mark 2. Time will tell.
2. Deadpool 2 The original Deadpool was brilliant and by all accounts if the trailer is anything to go by this could be as good if not better. Enter Cable to the X-Men universe and with all the returning faces from part one Deadpool could be the last great 18 rated film Fox makes if the merger with Disney goes ahead.
3. Black Panther Marvel bring a more unconventional Superhero tale to the screen, and with an excellent trailer and Marvel’s near flawless 2017 record this has the ability to be something quiet special indeed.
4. Bohemian Rhapsody Yes it’s had production issues and yes Singer isn’t a nice guy but with Dexter Fletcher taking over and with Queens backing this could be the film about the great Freddie Mercury that we have ALL been wait for.
5. The Incredibles 2 The Incredibles was, er, Incredible and this belated sequel looks like it could be another smash hit for Pixar. Lets just hope its more Toy Story 2 than Cars 2.
Bubbling Under: Tomb Raider (Good Trailer, great cast), Ant Man & The Wasp (Ant Man was great fun), The Predator (Shane Black + Predator = Hell Yes!), Mission Impossible 6 (These films tend to always be fun), The Happytime Murders (Brian Henson + Muppets = Heaven), The Purge: Island (LOVE the Purge Films), The Irishman (Scorsese teams with DeNiro & Pacino), Halloween (New sequel that ignores previous. With Carpenter’s blessing AND music)
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Stinker Of The Year: Fifty Shades Freed Yes I’ve watched BOTH Fifty Shades movies. And yes BOTH have previously taken the WORST FILM of the year titles. Look this franchise has nothing. Poor acting, poor direction and poor writing topped off with S&M so softcore you could see harder on Babestation. Thankfully this will bring this torrid series to an end and hopefully the careers of all involved.
Also Dreading: Solo – A Star Wars Story (fired directors, Ron Howard, total reshoots – this could be the first Disney Star Wars flop), Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (Boring trailer and a sense of having done this before), Day of The Dead: Bloodline (please no), Ready Player One (Spielberg hasn’t made a truly interesting film for a while), X-Men: Dark Phoenix (X-Men films just don’t grab me anymore), Oceans 8 (Just WHY!), Scarface (Urban Scarface remake….a film NOBODY asked for), Pacific Rim: Uprising (God no)
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So how did I do last year?
This is the time of the year when I look back at my picks of the good, the bad and the ugly from 2017 and see how close I was (or as it often is the case, how far!)…
For best: I tipped Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Star Wars The Last Jedi, War For The Planet Of The Apes, T2: Trainspotting and John Wick Chapter 2 as my most anticipated of 2017. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 was good but eclipsed by both Spiderman Homecoming and Thor Ragnorok.War For The Planet Of The Apes was good but fell a bit short of the rave reviews it was given. T2: Trainspotting was one of my top 5 films of the year (and film of the year for almost half of 2017) whilst John Wick 2 was a bit shit. Star Wars The last Jedi meanwhile. As for the rest? Silence, Spiderman: Homecoming, Alien: Covenant and Baywatch were all either great or enjoyable.
As for the Stinkers? Transformers: The Last Knight was picked as the stinker of the year but eventually was pipped by Fifty Shades Darker. Both were appalling. Wonder Woman was actually mostly excellent, Blade Runner 2049 ended up as one of teh years best and Logan knocked it out the park. XXX: Return Of Xander Cage was dumb funbut The Mummy, Power Rangers and Cars 3 all were in the worst of the year.
So 2017 is almost over and it’s that time a year again where everyone reflects back on their best and worst films of the year. So we’ve covered our best and our worst films of 2016, so before we look at the films coming up in 2017 here’s my ‘Alternative’ End of Year Awards for 2017…
The Most Entertainingly Bad Film Of The Year Award… Geostorm
The Gerard Butler Award For Consistently Making Entertainingly Terrible Films Gerard Butler (Geostorm)
Surprise of The Year Award… That Any one’s left standing in Hollywood after the year of deaths and scandals…
Performance Of The Year Award… Mark Kermode AGAIN… for his still oddly favourable reviews for his friends movies (see Murder On The Orient Express)
Just Fuck Off and Die Award… Michael Bay & Transformers. Just stop. Now.
Least Deserving Commercial Bomb of The Year (Maybe EVER) Award… Blade Runner 2049
Shit so I still can enjoy these films right, even though their lead/producer/co-star was a pervert/bully/ sex offender/Insert Crime Here Award Baby Driver, Swimming With Sharks, Pulp Fiction, X-Men 2, Toy Story… agh almost ALL my favourite films. God damn you Hollywood.
Come In Your time is Up Award… Zack Snider. You made two good films. EVERYTHING else has been deeply average. TIED with Harvey Weinstein – your a cunt Harvey pure and simple.
Trailer Of The Year Award… Logan Redband Trailer
Let Down of The Year Award… Hollywood. A seething industry of low lives and scum.
Yes it’s Good. But come on people its also a bit Emperors new clothes… Get Out
Low Budget Straight To DVD Surprise of the Year! Shot Caller
The ‘YES! See We don’t Always Fuck Up Award’ DC/Warner Brothers. They Made a Good Film! (Wonder Woman)
Fuck! We Spoke Too Soon Award DC/Warner Brothers for Justice League
Let Down of The Year Award Part 2…. George Romero NOT coming back as a Zombie when he died.
Cameo of The Year Award… Tim Curry’s original Pennywise The Clown in the 2017 version of IT.
The Prove That ‘You Can Come Back from Horrible Shit’ Award (Aka The Future Kevin Spacey Award) Mel Gibson (Hacksaw Ridge, Daddy’s Home 2)
The Oscars only like REALLY famous dead people award for missing out other stars who died Award… Garry Shandling, Florence Henderson, Alexis Arquette, Doris Roberts and Robert Vaughn
The Proof That Award Shows Suck Award… Snubs (Didn’t wins or Not Nominated) for I Daniel Blake, Hunt for The Wilder People, Sing Street, Hell Or High Water, Jake Gyllenhaal, Kubo And The Two Strings, Silence, Amy Adams and many more
The Poof That Award Shows DONT Suck Award… It’s La La Land… No Moonlight… No Titanic… No it’s me. The awards themselves offered few surprises, The Oscars even less, but the best picture cock up at the Academy Awards was pure gold!
The Audience Wins! Award. 2017 Sees LESS remakes/Reboots than ever before. Some still sucked. Flatliners, The Mummy
Not ALL remakes & reboots suck Award… IT 2017. Just awesome.
Yup we just made it for the money award (aka The Sequels Suck) Award… Transformers Age Of Extinction
Films That SHOULD have been on my 2016 List’s but I Hadn’t Seen… The Edge Of Seventeen, The Girl With All The Gifts, Train To Busan, Deepwater Horizon, Kubo & The Two Strings, Sing Street, Hunt For The Wilderpeople, 13th, I Daniel Blake
Next time: Phil’s Look at 2018 and a look back at my 2017 predictions…
Each week Phil, from Phil’s Quick Capsule Review, takes a look at a different movie or TV related Top Five. This time out: The Top 5 Disappointing films of 2017
5 – The Dark Tower
I dint hate this but in a year that brought us IT and Gerald’s Game, this should have been SO much better.
4 – A Cure for Wellness
Lots of hype. So little delivery.
3 – War Machine
War Machine just lacked bite. For a satire it lacked, well Satire. Pitt was good but the film was just to mainstream.
2 – King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
King Arthur was a mess. Richie can be hit and miss but the cast, trailer and even concept was great. But studio messing and a lack of vision just led the final film to be half the film it should have been.
1 – The Mummy
It was never going to be Shawshank but Tom Cruise is usually pretty reliable. Shame then that film (a “Universe film” that sunk the universe it was set to create) was total disappointment with a messy script. One to avoid.
So this is my semi-regularly updated of the BEST and WORST of 2017’s movies, as well as the best films I missed from last year and the Phil’s Quick Capsule Review Sharknado Award.
This will be the LAST Edition until our final end of year Wrap up.
All in my very humble opinion…
BEST Films Of 2017… So Far:
Baby Driver (9/10)
T2 Trainspotting (9/10)
Paddington 2 (9/10)
Raw (9/10)
OJ: Made In America (9/10)
Honourable Mentions:
Blade Runner 2049 (8/10), La La Land (8/10), IT 2017 (8/10); Thor: Ragnarok (8/10), Shot Caller (8/10); Dunkirk (8/10), Spider-Man Homecoming (8/10), Logan (8/10), Prevenge (8/10), Logan Lucky (8/10), Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2 (8/10), Counterpunch (8/10), Jawbone (8/10), Silence (8/10), Hidden Figures (8/10), War For The Plant of The Apes (7/10), Wheelman (7/10), Happy Death Day (7/10)
WORST Films Of 2017… So Far:
Fifty Shades Darker (2/10)
Transformers The Last Knight (2/10)
Sleepless (3/10)
Assassins Creed (3/10)
Underworld Blood War (4/10)
Dis-Honourable Mentions:
The Mummy (4/10), The Circle (4/10), Power Rangers (4/10), A Cure For Wellness (4/10), Gaga: Five Foot Two (4/10), Leatherface (4/10), Hacksaw Ridge (5/10), King Arthur Legend Of The Sword (5/10), Live By Night (5/10), Sing! (5/10), The Boss Baby (5/10), The Dark Tower (5/10), The Limehouse Golem (5/10), Justice League (5/10)
The 2017 Sharknado Award for Films So Good (!) They Cant Be Rated:
2 Lava 2 Lantula & Sharknado 5: Global Swarming
The 2017 Films I just couldn’t Finish…
The Ghoul, The Lost City of Z
Great Films Of 2016 That I saw In 2017:
The Edge Of Seventeen, The Girl With All The Gifts, Train To Busan, Deepwater Horizon, Kubo & The Two Strings, Sing Street, Hunt For The Wilderpeople, 13th, I Daniel Blake
So this is my semi-regularly updated of the BEST and WORST of 2017’s movies, as well as the best films I missed from last year and the Phil’s Quick Capsule Review Sharknado Award. All in my very humble opinion…
BEST Films Of 2017… So Far:
Baby Driver (9/10)
T2 Trainspotting (9/10)
Raw (9/10)
OJ: Made In America (9/10)
Blade Runner 2049 (8/10)
Honourable Mentions:
La La Land (8/10), IT 2017 (8/10); Shot Caller (8/10); Dunkirk (8/10), Spider-Man Homecoming (8/10), Logan (8/10), Prevenge (8/10), Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2 (8/10), Counterpunch (8/10), Get Out (8/10), Jawbone (8/10), Silence (8/10), Hidden Figures (8/10), War For The Plant of The Apes (7/10)
WORST Films Of 2017… So Far:
Fifty Shades Darker (2/10)
Transformers The Last Knight (2/10)
Sleepless (3/10)
Assassins Creed (3/10)
Underworld Blood War (4/10)
Dis-Honourable Mentions:
The Mummy (4/10), The Circle (4/10), Power Rangers (4/10), A Cure For Wellness (4/10), Gaga: Five Foot Two (4/10), Hacksaw Ridge (5/10), King Arthur Legend Of The Sword (5/10), Live By Night (5/10), Sing! (5/10), The Boss Baby (5/10)
The 2017 Sharknado Award for Films So Good (!) They Cant Be Rated:
2 Lava 2 Lantula & Sharknado 5: Global Swarming
Great Films Of 2016 That I saw In 2017:
The Edge Of Seventeen, The Girl With All The Gifts, Train To Busan, Deepwater Horizon, Kubo & The Two Strings, Sing Street, Hunt For The Wilderpeople, 13th, I Daniel Blake
Phil’s Quick Capsule Review: Or Mummy Impossible. Yep… Tom Cruise is back. Not the good Tom Cruise who blew us away in Magnolia or Jerry Maguire but the other Tom Cruise who now seems set on finishing his career with action film after action film. And here we go again as Universal try to give birth to their own cinematic universe and fail. It’s not that The Mummy is bad. Okay it is. But it’s also just so boring. I almost drifted off twice, kept awake only by Russell Crowe’s horrid Cock-E-Nee accent which, even by his standards, sets a new low bar. There is nothing here you’ve not seen before and the tone is so uneven it’s like it had three different directors. So whilst Cruise takes another step towards being a highly paid Steven Seagal, Universal’s Dark Universe is still born… sadly then a big miss.
Best Bit: Crowe’s accent is brilliant. Funniest thing ever.
Buy, Stream, Avoid: Avoid
If You Liked this Try: The Mummy (1999), The Mummy Returns (2001), Mission Impossible 5
So this is my semi-regularly updated of the BEST and WORST of 2017’s movies, as well as the best films I missed from last year and the Phil’s Quick Capsule Review Sharknado Award. All in my very humble opinion…
BEST Films Of 2017… So Far:
Baby Driver (9/10)
T2 Trainspotting (9/10)
Raw (9/10)
OJ Made In America (9/10)
La La Land (8/10)
Honourable Mentions:
Dunkirk (8/10), Spider-Man Homecoming (8/10), Logan (8/10), Prevenge (8/10), Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2 (8/10), Counterpunch (8/10), Get Out (8/10), Jawbone (8/10), Silence (8/10), Hidden Figures (8/10), War For The Plant of The Apes (7/10), Wonder Woman (7/10),
WORST Films Of 2017… So Far:
Fifty Shades Darker (2/10)
Sleepless (2/10)
Assassins Creed (3/10)
Underworld Blood War (4/10)
The Mummy (4/10)
Dis-Honourable Mentions:
The Circle (4/10), Power Rangers (4/10), A Cure For Wellness (4/10), Hacksaw Ridge (5/10), King Arthur Legend Of The Sword (5/10), Live By Night (5/10), Sing! (5/10), The Boss Baby (5/10)
The 2017 Sharknado Award for Films So Good (!) They Cant Be Rated:
2 Lava 2 Lantula
Great Films Of 2016 That I saw In 2017:
The Edge Of Seventeen, The Girl With All The Gifts, Train To Busan, Deepwater Horizon, Kubo & The Two Strings, Sing Street, Hunt For The Wilderpeople, 13th, I Daniel Blake
It’s The Smoking Lamb Movie Podcast. A weekly, no-holds-baa-aa-arred, and R-rated look at the world of movies.
On this episode: Richard Hawes from Mike’s DTV Digest finally joins us on the main show and what an episode to debut. We go over The Mummy and the new “Dark Universe” that has been created. Then we have a lot of training to do but not much time. What do we need? A MONTAGE. Our Top 5 this week is Movie Montages.
Check it out and BLEAT THE WORLD and don’t forget to follow up on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
Phil’s Quick look at what’s wetting his whistle for the upcoming year in films…
Well 2016 was a bit… odd. With most of the big films not quite hitting the mark, especially comic books films. 2017 looks like more of the same – big budget super heroes, franchises, remakes and sequels. Here’s the films I’m most looking forward to in 2017.
Most Excited: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 Marvel continues to do solid work, with Doctor Strange being a highlight of 2016. Also Guardians was, simply put, bloody terrific. Oh and have you seen THAT trailer. Baby Groot? Atomic Bomb? Yup. Sold.
2. Star Wars Episode 8 Lucasfilm in the hands of Disney have given us two very good Star Wars films in the shape of The Force Awakens and Rogue One. With the original cast (mostly) returning, more promised on the origins of Kylo Ren and Rey as well as a full return to the movies of Luke Skywalker… Episode 8 should be pretty special.
3. War For The Planet Of The Apes Rise was great. Dawn even better. And now War. Based on THAT trailer and a synopsis which promises the final showdown between ape and man (which should lead to the end of the world/Charlton Heston) this could be one of the best films of the year.
4. John Wick Chapter 2 John Wick was old school, martial arts awesomeness. John Wick 2 promises a LOT more of the same. I have my seat booked.
5. T2: Trainspotting Trainspotting remains one of the best films of the 90’s and one of the best British films ever. Whether T2 follows the source material of Porno or not is still to be seen but either way with the cast returning and Boyle back behind the camera this should deliver a great film.
Bubbling Under: Baywatch (Excellent Trailer),Lego Batman (It’s Lego. Batman. Done), Spiderman: Homecoming (this could go either way to be honest but I’m hoping…), Silence (Scorsese. I’m in), Alien: Covenant (come on it HAS to be better than Prometheus!), The Dark Tower (could be the King adaptation we’ve always waited for), Kingsman: The Golden Circle (Original was amazing, same team).
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Stinker Of The Year: Transformers: The Last Knight The previous 3 Transformers films have each rated in AT LEAST the bottom 3 of year they were released (some even rock bottom). Looking at the trailer for the fifth (yes FIFTH!) Michael Bay Transformers film does little to convince me that this will be anything but an utter mess. It’s a bit like shooting fish in a barrel sure but come on there has to be ZERO chance of this being any good.
Also Dreading: Wonder Woman (The trailer is lacking, the film just doesn’t grab me), Blade Runner 2049 (Silly title, a sequel we just don’t need), Power Rangers (Urm not needed, not wanted), Logan (Want tone wrong but so far these films have just not worked), XXX: Return Of Xander Cage (Diesel is back. Nobody cares), Cars 3 (1 & 2 weren’t great) , The Mummy (Tom Cruise. A Mummy. I’ll pass).
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So how did I do last year?
This is the time of the year when I look back at my picks of the good, the bad and the ugly from 2016 and see how close I was (or as it often is the case, how far!)…
For the best: I tipped Captain America Civil War, Creed, Finding Dory, Deadpool & London Has Fallen as my most anticipated of 2016. Somewhat of a mixed bag with Creed & Deadpool sitting close to my top 10 with Creed my film of the year for a few months near the start of 2016. Finding Dory was good but not good enough. London Has Fallen, well that ended up being one of the worst films of the year for me. As for Captain America Civil War? It promised a lot but fell short of the far superior Winter Solider from a few years back and Marvel’s very own Doctor Strange which was the best superhero film of the year.
As for the Stinkers? Point Break was terrible as expected and landed firmly in my bottom 5 for 2016. Batman Vs Superman was actually pretty fun (if flawed), The Hateful Eight overrated as I expected but there were worse films in 2016, Ghostbusters was forgettable, Warcraft was everything that’s wrong with game movie adaptations and the combination of sequels Divergent Allegiant & Independence Day Resurgence showed that both franchises have zero fun left in them and even less commercial appeal. Only Star Trek Beyond rose above the dross as a truly fun film (until the silly somewhat overblown ending).
