Remember when the disappointment that was 2016 ended and we all toasted to 2017 hopefully proving to be better? Didn’t exactly meet expectations did it? Last year many of our favourite celebrities passed away, this year many of those left have turned out to be sex offenders – go team. But anyway, just like last year I’ve had to stretch my film lists out from top 10’s to top 20’s, which could be seen as a good thing, an indication that there were enough good films to warrant a longer list but then, you remember, the same goes for the bad list.
What can I say; this year was long and depressing, the year before it was long and depressing and, realistically, the next year will probably be long and depressing also; happy days! So here we go, the best films of the year and… the other list, along with some other fun considerations because why not? Of course there were some well-regarded films I was unable to see like Call Me By Your Name and Brigsby Bear and I do hate that I missed them but hey, what can I do?
Best Films Of 2017
- Dunkirk – (Film of the year, a perfectly shot single feature length action sequence rife with lethal intensity, brutal sound design and gargantuan production value; all of which transpire to do justice to real life heroes)
- Blade Runner 2049
- Wind River
- A Ghost Story
- Wonder Woman
- Loving Vincent
- Thor: Ragnarok
- Song To Song
- War For The Planet Of The Apes
- Mother
- American Made
- It Comes At Night
- Lego Batman
- John Wick Chapter 2
- Logan
- Battle Of The Sexes
- Star Wars: The Last Jedi
- It
- The Disaster Artist
- Atomic Blonde
Honourable Mentions
The Beguiled
The Killing of a sacred deer
Detroit
Double date
Only the brave
T2 Trainspotting
Okja
Get Out
Baby driver
Spiderman homecoming
Special Sympathy Mention:
Justice League
Worst Films Of 2017
- The Shack – (Worst film of the year, one of the most morally bankrupt, self satisfied, arrogant and offensive pieces of propaganda garbage I have ever seen in my life, it’s not just bad, it’s hurtful and dangerous)
- The Bye-Bye Man
- Diary Of A Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul
- Unforgettable
- Everything, Everything
- Girl’s Trip
- The Snowman
- Flatliners
- The Zookeeper’s Wife
- The Sense Of An Ending
- Hampstead
- Unlocked
- The Emoji Movie
- The House
- Daddy’s Home 2
- CHiPS
- Bitter Harvest
- Overdrive
- Transformers: The Last Knight
- Fifty Shades Darker
Dis-Honourable Mentions
Geostorm
The Star
A Bad Mom’s Christmas
The Space Between Us
Wish Upon
Fist Fight
Table 19
The Book Of Henry
Snatched
Rings
15 Favourite Action Sequences
Pretty much everything in “The Air” – Dunkirk
Silo Hostage Rescue And Subsequent Battle – Justice League
No Man’s Land – Wonder Woman
Bifrost Bridge Battle – Thor: Ragnarok
Stairwell Fight – Atomic Blonde
Helicopter Swatting – Kong: Skull Island
Hocus Pocus – Baby Driver
The Battle Of Crate – Star Wars: The Last Jedi
Drill Sight Massacre – Wind River
Art Gallery Shootout – John Wick Chapter 2
Aero Baby Rescue – Fate Of The Furious
Throne Room Slaughter – Star Wars: The Last Jedi
Steppenwolf In Themyscira – Justice League
K VS Luv – Blade Runner 2049
Opening Sequence – John Wick Chapter 2
Favourite Villainous Performances
Adam Driver as Kylo Ren – Star Wars: The Last Jedi
Ciaran Hinds as Steppenwolf – Justice League
Jamie Foxx as Bats – Baby Driver
Jeff Goldblum as The Grandmaster – Thor: Ragnarok
Bill Skarsgard as Pennywise The Dancing Clown – It
Sylvia Hoeks as Luv – Blade Runner 2049
Will Poulter as Krauss – Detroit
Woody Harrelson as The Colonel – War For The Planet Of The Apes
Ruby Rose as Ares – John Wick Chapter 2
Robert Carlyle as Francis Begbie – T2 Trainspotting
Best On-Screen Couples (Romantic, Bromantic Or Otherwise)
David and Walter – Alien: Covenant
Thor and… his Hammer – Thor: Ragnarok
K and Joi – Blade Runner 2049
Hobbs and Deckard – Fate Of The Furious
Billie-Jean and Marilyn – Battle Of The Sexes
Greg and Tommy – The Disaster Artist
Rocket and Baby Groot – Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2
Wolverine and X23 – Logan
Batman and Superman – Justice League
Bryce and Kincaid – The Hitman’s Bodyguard
Special Awards
Best Opening Credit Sequence: Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2
Best Use Of Music In Correlation To The Visuals: Blade Runner 2049 – “Sea Wall”
Pottymouth Of The Year: Robert Carlyle – T2 Trainspotting
Most Interesting Style: TIE – Loving Vincent/A Ghost Story
Best SFX: War For The Planet Of The Apes
Most Immersive Camera Movements: Justice League
Funniest Line (Intentional): “I’m gonna knock your teeth so far down your throat you’re gonna stick a toothbrush right up your ass to brush em” – Fate Of The Furious
Funniest Line (Unintentional): “Blow into the hole gently, I’ll do the fingering” – Alien: Covenant
Captain Obvious Award: Josh Duhamel, Transformers: The Last Knight – “Look, it’s a big alien ship”
Guilty Pleasure Of The Year: TIE – xXx: Return Of Xander Cage/Resident Evil: The Final Chapter
Notable Face-Palm Of The Year: Fakest Sneeze Of All Time – The Bye-Bye Man
Done and dusted, recalling and sifting through the stuff I liked about the year was great fun, doing the same for what I didn’t like bloody hurt. Oh I wonder what the next year will hold, not just regarding the movies but the politics, the sociology, the very backbone of public opinion… who am I kidding, it’s gonna suck, it’ll all suck and we should probably all just save time by taking turns gleefully leaping into a giant deadly shit hole to boil and desolve to death.
Happy New Year.
Motion Picture Maniac
