Death Wish (2018) – A Revisited Quick Capsule Review

Death Wish (2018) – A Revisited Quick Capsule Review

Quick Review

Phil’s Quick Capsule Review:
It goes without saying that this remake of Charles Bronson starring Death Wish is inferior in every-way to the original.  And that’s saying something because whilst the original has a raw charm it’s fair from perfect.  The issue here is the film – from it’s direction by Eli Roth, it’s script by Joe Carnahan, to its cast – it just feels flat.  Willis in fact looks bored for the most part and for a sub two hour film it takes forever to get going. It’s not bad but there are so many better films you can watch and so many better revenge films.

Best Bit: The gunshop payoff

Buy, Stream, Avoid: Stream

If You Liked this Try: Taken, Death Wish (1974), Oldboy

 


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Flatliners (2017) – A ’31 Films Of Halloween’ Quick Capsule Review

Flatliners (2017) – A ’31 Films Of Halloween’ Quick Capsule Review

Quick Review

Phil’s Quick Capsule Review:
The misnomer here is that Flatliners 2017 is a worse film that the star packed original.  It’s not.  That one was pretty rubbish as well. This said there was an opportunity here to do something interesting with the tale of a group of medical students who mess with nature to find out if there really was an ‘afterlife’.  This wasn’t that film.  Look it’s far from terrible (well maybe a few times) but a hokey script, an unconvincing cast and a run time that doesn’t justify itself just makes you realise life is too short to be watching films like this.  Sadly to be labelled with a Do Not Resuscitate.

Best Bit: Dr Sutherland!

Buy, Stream, Avoid: Avoid

If You Liked this Try: Flatliners (1990), A Cure For Wellness, Jacobs Ladder

 


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Child’s Play (2019) – A Quick Capsule Review

Child’s Play (2019) – A Quick Capsule Review

Quick Review

Phil’s Quick Capsule Review:
Child’s Play is saved from being a total disaster by one sequence near the end the film that takes place in a mall.  That one sequence is JUST about good enough to drag this from a 3 or 4/10 to a 5/10. It still doesn’t quite stick the landing and the sequel bate ending makes no sense…. but it could have been worse.   The thing is ANY horror film that cuts away from its gore more than it focuses on it is made for the wrong audience.  Chucky fans don’t want cuts away… we want head slices, chops and gore.  What Child’s Play 2019 feels like is a debate between a filmmaker who wants a NC-17 and a studio who wants a PG-13.  Nobody wins here.  And nobody did. (Note to Mark Hamill who does a nice job and the central AI idea kinda works.  Kinda).

Best Bit: The Mall

Buy, Stream, Avoid: Stream

If You Liked this Try: Child’s Play, The Bride Of Chucky, Child’s Play 3

 


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The Lion King (2019): Review by Grosse Point Geek

The Lion King (2019): Review by Grosse Point Geek

A Blog Grosse Point Geek The Blogs

After his father King Mufasa (James Earl Jones) is murdered by evil Uncle Scar (Chiwetel Ejiofor), young Prince Simba is banished from the Pridelands and is presumed dead by the rest of his family. Years later, a chance encounter with an old friend forces the now adult Simba (Donald Glover) to make a choice  – stay in exile or face his destiny and challenge Scar for the throne.


What worked: 

The photo realistic animation used to bring the animals and the varying African landscapes to life  is frankly astounding  – so good in fact that you will actually think what you are watching is totally real and not animated. The voice cast are also very good and the songs are still as wonderful as the 1994 original.


What didnt work:

 As amazing as the animation is it has two major problems – and that is as we all know in real life animals dont express a vast range of facial emotions  – and this is what happens here – meaning that you are left a bit cold as the characters faces dont express the same levels of emotions as the ones in the original version also and very tellingly it just didn’t look or feel right when they talked – see it for yourself and you will know what i mean. In addition it isnt nearly as downright hilarious as the 1994 version, yes Timon and Pumbaa (voiced by Billy Eichner and Seth Rogen) still steal the show but simply can’t match the utter lunacy that Nathan Lane and Ernie Sabella brought to the characters in the original film. 

 

Finally one has to say that its all very well having brilliant photo realistic effects but unlike The Jungle Book remake and to a certain extent this years Tim Burton directed Dumbo update, when you break it down the Lion King 2019 brings absolutely nothing new to the party and at its heart is little more than a shot for shot, line for line recycled copy of what was and remains to be one of the greatest animated films of all time. Therefore if you look it it that way this means that one must view this film very cynically  – as all its purpose seems to be is to show off some fancy SFX, and make lots of money for Disney. 


Review summary: Never less than enjoyable and the animation is the best you will ever see  – but there is not one scrap of originality on show here.

 

Author: Will Strong aka Grosse Point Geek 

 

 

 


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Point Blank (2019) – A Quick Capsule Review

Point Blank (2019) – A Quick Capsule Review

Quick Review

Phil’s Quick Capsule Review:
Another day, another poorly reviews and received Netflix ‘original’.  This time out is a remake of the 2010 French film of the same name starring Marvel’s own Frank Grillo and Anthony Mackie. And nope it doesn’t suck as much or as bad as the critics will have you think.  In fact it’s a pretty easy to watch, ultimately forgettable romp that ticks all the usual hardboiled crime film cliches almost as if it’s working from a tick list.  What makes the film work is the paring of Grillo and Mackie who both have buckets of charisma.  So it’s a decent way to pass an evening. Nothing more or less.

Best Bit: Always Frank Grillo

Buy, Stream, Avoid: Stream

If You Liked this Try: À Bout Portant, Payback, Man On fire

 


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Ghostbusters (2016) – A Quick Capsule Review (Revisited)

Ghostbusters (2016) – A Quick Capsule Review (Revisited)

Quick Review

Phil’s Quick Capsule Review:
Okay so this isn’t the disaster the early marketing suggested it could be but it’s also FAR away from the 4 star reviews it’s been getting. I think, ultimately, I just don’t get Paul Feig films – The Heat, Bridesmaids and Spy especially did NOTHING for me and here, again, whilst the cast all do okay (standout being Kate McKinnon) you just can’t help but feel there’s nothing new here once the role reversal gimmick wears off. You are left with a reboot I didn’t really want, of a film that didn’t need it, and a director that goes out of his way to remind you just how good the original film really was.

Best Bit: Hemsworth

Buy, Stream, Avoid: Stream

If You Liked this Try: The Heat, Bridesmaids,  Spy

 


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Worst Film of 2016:  Point Break (2015)

Worst Film of 2016: Point Break (2015)

Best & Worst Quick Review

Phil’s Quick Capsule Review:
The original Point Break is a top 5 film for me. So this remake was always going to struggle. But after 5 mins I thought “Actually this isn’t bad” Its a shame then that the film didn’t end there because quickly this film descends into a hollow, pointless mess. It lacks the heart and charm of the original as the Utah falls from one plot contrivance to another without ever actually having to do any police work. It’s lazy, piss poorly directed and when it does “homage” the original it just plain gets it wrong as it never once give you a moment to care. And man the Cgi on the last wave sequences are just monumentally horrid.

All in all if you want to watch a good Fast & Furious type film watch Fast & Furious. If you want to watch a good point break watch the original. If you want to watch a terrible and dull action film pick one of the hundreds made like this. Just don’t pick this as, apart from maybe two nice stunt sequences, this film has NOTHING to offer ANYONE.

Oh and casting note: When trying to replace an action known for his monotone delivery at least TRY to find someone who has even seen the word charisma written down, let alone manages to display a bit ever now and then. Right I’m off to watch the actual Point Break and remember why I gave a fuck so much.

Best Bit: The stunts

Buy, Stream, Avoid: Avoid

If You Liked this Try: Point Break, Fast & Furious 5, XXX

IMDB Rating: 

 

Author: Phil Hobden

Phil’s Quick Capsule Review & Friends Turd of 2016 Award: Point Break

Phil’s Quick Capsule Review & Friends Turd of 2016 Award: Point Break

Other Cr*p Quick Review Year In Review

The votes are in, they have been counted an verified and I can now proudly announce the Winner of 2016’s Phil’s Quick Capsule Review & Guests Turd Of The Year award is… by a WIDE margin…

[divider]

Point Break (2016)
Without a doubt one of the most pointless films of 2016, Point Break is terrible.  Okay so some of the stunts are pretty impressive but you can watch that on YouTube.  Point Break 2016 strips away EVERYTHING that was good about the original and delivers a cookie cutter bad excuse for an action film.  Please don’t support this.  Watch the original instead! 

 

 

Close but no cigar: YOGA HOSERS

 

 

Phil’s Top 5… Remakes!

Phil’s Top 5… Remakes!

Other Cr*p Top 5

Each week Phil, from Phil’s Quick Capsule Review, takes a look at a different movie or TV related Top Five.  This time out: Remakes.

Yes the dreaded “R” word.  But hey not all Remakes are rubbish like Total Recall or Point Break.  In fact some are stone cold classics.  Here’s some of my favourites…

 

Close but no cigar:The Fly, Little Shop Of Horrors, Cape Fear, 12 Monkeys, Halloween

 

5 – Scarface
Remaking a 30’s little known gangster film, DePalma struck gold with what is one of the definitive films of the 80’s.  It cemented Pacino as a stand out talent and helped launch careers of Michelle Pfeiffer among others.  It also owns pop culture with it’s iconic images and quotes.  Say hello to my little friend indeed.

4 –  Invasion of The Body Snatchers
Now on it’s third remake, Body Snatchers best incarnation is for sure it’s 70’s Donald Sutherland starring vehicle.  That said the 90’s version holds a lot of affection for me and the Daniel Craig/Nicole Kidman version has it’s moments.  

3 – Oceans 11
The original Ocean’s 11, whilst starring the kinds of cool in the Rat Pack, is a mess.  The remake updates it, adds a top notch cast and became a bonified mainstream hit.  Shame the sequels in the whole were messy and forgettable.

2 – Dawn of The Dead
I love Dawn Of The Dead, Romeo version.  It still is outstanding.  So it says a lot that I rate Zack Snider’s modern remake so highly. It’s excellent.  Okay so fast Zombie’s may not be everyone’s taste but the pace, set pieces and cast help this one become one of THE best remakes.

1 – John Carpenter’s The Thing
The Thing is not only the best remake for me but also one of the best 80’s films full stop. From Carpenter’s relentless direction to the spot on cast to the pounding music and ground breaking visual FX… The Thing has it all.  The modern remake/prequel was utter tosh however and did NOTHING to add to this films legacy.

 

 

The Rocky Horror Picture Show: Lets Do The Time Warp Again – A Quick Capsule Review

The Rocky Horror Picture Show: Lets Do The Time Warp Again – A Quick Capsule Review

Quick Review

Phil’s Quick Capsule Review:
Well this one is interesting.  It you look online, you’d think that this remake was mostly Fox shooting the cast of the original against a brick wall live on TV.  It’s not.  Actually as a fan of both the film and the stage show, I welcome new versions of what is a much adapted classic.  And for the most part this film is pretty good.  The Time Warp is fantastic and most of the new cast aquit themselves well.  There’s even a welcome return for the usherette, cruelly let out of try original film! HOWEVER the films biggest weakness is Frank herself, Laverne Cox, who sadly just lacks the charisma of Tim Curry delivering Sweet Transvestite as a strangely muted, lifeless number.  So far from terrible and worth a watch but COULD be better.

Best Bit: Time Warp!

Buy, Stream, Avoid: Stream

If You Liked this Try: The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Shock Treatment, Grease Live!

IMDB Rating: 

 

Author: Phil Hobden