Blog: Grosse Point Geek – Rapid Fire Reviews Jan 2015

Blog: Grosse Point Geek – Rapid Fire Reviews Jan 2015

A Blog Grosse Point Geek Uncategorized

Happy New Year fellow film fans! Welcome to Grosse Pointe Geeks Jan 2015 Rapid Fire Review!



Exodus: Gods and Kings

Director: Ridley Scott

Actors: Christian Bale, Joel Edgerton, Ben Kingsley, Aaron Paul, John Turturro, Sigourney Weaver.

Scott has another stab at the historical epic with this so-so retelling of the story of Moses. On the plus side its beautifully photographed, very well directed and the set designs are amazing. However, its too long, fairly dull in places and there isn’t nearly enough action. Also Weaver and Aaron Paul barely get a look in -making one wonder why they were cast in the first place, not only that but to be honest the whole thing had a distinct whiff of Ridley Scott tapping Gladiator all over again.

At Cinemas now



The Expendables 3

Director: Patrick Hughes

Actors: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Mel Gibson, Harrison Ford, Dolph Lundgren, Wesley Snipes, Jet Li, etc etc.

Recently released on Blu Ray, which includes an extended more violent version than the one released in cinemas. Now i know i did a quick review of it last year, but if I’ve said it once I’ll say it again – for the love of God and Mammon – if you haven’t done it already  -please please watch this film!

Yes its silly, no it isn’t Shakespeare but if you love an action movie that doesn’t take itself too seriously, is well made and extremely entertaining – then this is definitely for you.

(On Blu Ray and DVD now  – however i would recommend getting it on Blu Ray)



The Heat

Director: Paul Fieg

Actors: Sandra Bullock, Mellissa McCarthy

The mismatched cop genre is mined once more in this fairly good action comedy. Bullock is the straight laced FBI agent who reluctantly teams up with McCarthy’s slobbish Boston detective. Skips along at a rare old pace, very profane and actually quite funny in parts – especially McCarthy who gets all the quality one liners.

However we have seen this kind of film many times before in the 1980’s and one hopes that its success wont necessarily inspire Hollywood to go down that route all over again.

Available on DVD/Blu Ray and Netflix




The Hobbit: The Battle of The Five Armies

Director: Peter Jackson

Actors: Martin Freeman, Richard Armitage, Luke Evans, Ian McKellan, Lee Pace, Orlando Bloom.

The Middle Earth saga comes to a close with this epic final chapter that sees all and sundry close in on the Lonely Mountain to try and claim the gold from Thorin and Dwarves.. Freeman, Evans, Armitage and McKellan give faultless performances once again, plus Jackson effortlessly crafts a film that not only looks fantastic but is incredibly enjoyable as well. I will say this though – as good as it is, it cant touch the Return Of The King and one did get the feeling that a lot of footage was held back for the yet to be released 2015 extended edition DVD.

At Cinemas now



The Imitation Game

Director: Morten Tyldum

Actors: Benedict Cumberbatch, Keira Knightly, Mark Strong, Charle Dance, Matthew Goode.

Based on the true story of Alan Turing – a brilliant mathematician who single handedly built a machine that could decipher the Nazi Enigma Code and as a result turned the tide of World War 2, saving millions of lives in the process. A totally outstanding film, with a mesmerising performance from Cumberbatch that, if there is any justice, will bag him a much deserved Oscar nomination. One of the best films of 2014 – highly recommended.

At cinemas now



The Pyramid

Director: Gregory Levasseur

Actors: James Buckley, Ashley Hinshaw

Found footage film featuring a team of archaeologists who unearth a lost pyramid then get trapped inside, whilst being pursued by evil supernatural forces and all manner of flesh eating beasties. Descends into CGI madness at the end but to be fair the story is quite interesting, there are some pretty scary bits and its certainly worth a look for anyone who enjoyed last years As Above So Below.

Possibly still at cinemas now




Sin City 2: A Dame To Kill For

Director: Robert Rodriguez, Frank Miller

Actors: Mickey Rourke, Bruce Willis, Jessica Alba, Eva Green, Josh Brolin, Joseph Gordon levitt, Powers Booth.

Not bad sequel to the 2005 original. Well made, fairly enjoyable with some good performances  – especially Brolin, Levitt, Booth and Green, however the narrative and story aren’t as well structured as the first film and overall it all feels like a case of been there done that with no need to do it again  – which seems to be all Robert Rodriguez does these days anyway.

Available on DVD/Blu ray



The Wicker Tree

Director: Robin Hardy

Actors: Graham McTavish, Christopher Lee

Adaptation of the novel ‘Cowboys for Christ’ and a sort of sequel/companion piece to Hardy’s original film – The Wicker Man.

Suffice to say that once in a while there comes a film that is so bad that it automatically gets into my top ten worst of all time list………and this is that film. Awful in just about every way you can imagine – cheap looking, amateurish direction, terrible acting, appalling script,  and overall a complete and utter insult to anyone who enjoyed the first film.


Available on Netflix (if you can be bothered)




That’s it for now.  I’ll be back soon…

Author: Will Strong 


Blog: Sin City A Dame To Kill for – A Quick Capsule Review

Quick Review

Phil’s Quick Capsule Review:
Sin City A Dame To Kill for wasn’t a film I as looking forward to.  Whilst I liked and positively reviewed the original I have ZERO interest in rewatching it and Millers follow up The Spirit was horrid. Oh and Rodriguez has forgotten how to make a good film. So It’s with surprise that I say SC: ADTKF is actually quite good fun.  It’s still style over substance for sure, but damn it looks pretty and for once it’s nice to see a film so strikingly different from the norm.  It still suffers from some odd pacing issues and Jessica Alba offers little in the realms of actual acting (pouting being her go to mode) but overall it’s a film I enjoyed.

Best Bit: The Look. 

Buy, Rent, Stream, Borrow: Rent

If You Liked this Try:  Sin City, 300, The Spirit


Author: Phil Hobden

Blog: All Things Film – Stretch Reviewed

Blog: All Things Film – Stretch Reviewed

All Things Film Blog Other Cr*p Uncategorized

Let’s face facts, we’re never going to see Neveldine/Taylor’s Crank series outdone by, well, any other movie – ever. But if anyone’s the man to give it a shot, then I guess it’s writer/director Joe Carnahan; here, he gives us Stretch, a mile-a-minute wacky action adventure starring Patrick Wilson as the eponymous limo driver who’s about to embark on a wacky night in the seedier parts of LA.

Now that I’m writing this, I guess Stretch could even be 2014’s answer to Scorsese’s After Hours which sees Griffin Dunne go through a similar situation. This time around though it’s mostly confined to the limousine. Stretch as until midnight to find $6,000 to pay off his gambling debts or face the wrath of Kneecap Finance. His first couple of pick-ups include Ray Liotta as himself, playing to overweight cantankerous type. David Hasslehoff, though, steals the first act truly sending himself up as David Hassle-was-and-still-is, before leaving Stretch with a soliloquy which betters most of any deliver he’s ever been a part of.

Then there’s Chris Pine. Oh boy, is there ever Chris Pine. James Franco from Springbreakers take note – THIS is how you do coked-up wacky weirdo. Sporting a long beard and enigmatic manner which screams spoilt billionaire, his entrance is a mere entrée compared to the character’s journey as he entangles the services of Stretch throughout the evening on a collision course of mayhem on the promise of granting Stretch his debt money. Hot on their trails are the FBI and, weirder still, Ed Helms as an apparition popping up at regular intervals to comment on Stretch’s actions.

Patrick Wilson – who knew<!?> – is superb as a comic character. It’s highly likely he could become the next Bill Murray. I’m now thinking of one of Murray’s lesser-known masterpieces; 1990’s Quick Change, which clearly Carnahan owes a debt to. Then, of course, this is Carnahan through and through. Fans of Smokin’ Aces will love Stretch. Carnahan seems to have two modes: Narc and Smokin’ Aces. Now we know why Ray Liotta offered himself to send himself up. He’s also a terrible tipper if this film’s anything to go by.

Stretch is an absolute blast – and the small things work wonderfully well; just as the narration from Wilson ponders how his day can get any worse, we zoom out to reveal he’s standing in the middle of a grocery Mexican stand-off between two Arabs. An elderly woman, fresh from knocking Wilson on his ass, screeches her tyres as she sees a hoard of angry black men running after Wilson, baying for his blood. She speeds off shouting “Oh my God! Coloureds!”.

You may miss these little eccentricities – and, sure, it’s all rather silly. But they are there in one of this year’s most absurdly entertaining and original action comedies


Author: Andrew Mackay

Blog: All Things Film – Sin City A Dame To Kill For Reviewed

Blog: All Things Film – Sin City A Dame To Kill For Reviewed

All Things Film Blog Other Cr*p Uncategorized

Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (Cinema, 2014) – I have to be really careful when awarding scores out of ten, because if you – like most of the other readers – have already scrolled down to the end of this review to clock my score before reading this text, you’ll think I’m off my trolley. Worse still, you could think that I’ve lightened my temperament for movie criticism.

Then again, what were we actually expecting from a sequel that’s at least five year’s past its due date? I consider the original Sin City from 2005 to be the best film of that year; a true original, noir-soaked orgy of bullets, white blood and mostly-monochrome – a true return to the heady days of Bogart and Cagney, but sumptuously brought forth for today’s more sophisticated market. Indeed, the reason Sin City remains one of the best films of that decade is because I saw it at the cinema, once. I bought the DVD and then the Blu Ray but – like many, I suspect – never dared sully the experience by watching it again. The sequel from director(s) Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller gives me a chance to relive it. It does not disappoint.

Well, let me rethink that that last sentence. It will disappoint. It’ll disappoint those among us who don’t watch black and white movies, offer no regard for pure narrative force (even though it’s shrouded in an overabundance of gore and mayhem). It’s their loss.

And so, back to Basin City once again, to revisit Marv, Nancy and Dwight – and friends. This time we have a slew of new characters in Eva Green’s Ava Lord, Powers Booth’s corrupted political antagonist and – now – Josh Brolin plays Dwight. Okay, count me in. With talent this strong, how could it possibly go wrong?

There are three stories intertwined in Dame, and the first concerns Dwight embroiled with Ava Lord; a scheming harlot out to get men to do the dirty to her, and then for her. It’s a strong little story which has made me re-evaluate my thoughts on Eva Green; hollow and adolescent in Casino Royale – and, here, sultry, impeccable and desperately engaging as Lord. She spends most of her time in the nude, craftily silhouetted by Miller’s cast iron shadows. She exudes charm and grace, and ferocity. The story itself is formulaic but, stone me, is she ever worth killing for (as the title suggests). Replacing the since departed Michael Clark Duncan as Manute is Dennis Haysbert who manages to ramp up the rambunctious and meat-headed character, making him even scarier and a true force to be reckoned with.

There’s also the return to form with Bruce Willis, Jessica Alba and Mickey Rourke which sees the Hartigans a number of years hence – she, still swing T&A in the nightclub – and he, still dead after blowing his own brains out. It’s the weakest of the stories, but by far among the most violent.
The real curious note here is Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Johnny; a cool, lucky gambler who confronts Roarke, played to absolute perfection by Powers Boothe, at the poker table – not once, but twice. This story is the best told and most intriguing and, sadly, the one devoted to the least amount of screen time. Some truly enigmatic visuals arise from this segment, and I wish it had lasted longer. Indeed, and who knew it, it is Roarke that actually glues the strands together – and in scenery-swallowing form, Powers Boothe packs the movie up in a tidy suitcase and makes off with it. It’s among the best performance of the year.

The narrative switch-to-and-fro is the weak point in the whole movie. It feels very segmented – and coming fresh off the heels of far superior ‘blending’ of such, comes across as slightly patchwork-y. And then there’s Juno temple and Ray Liotta. They collectively have about three minutes of screen time and are quickly out of the movie. Now that is a disappointment; sweetened only by Temple’s fantastic and shapely posing on the double bed , before ruining it all by having to watch Liotta’s heffalump go and have some missionary position. It’s very easy to forget that they were ever in the film, and their high billing is something of a misnomer.

That said – A Dam to Kill For is immense, intense fun. I may be getting long in the tooth, but this *feels* more violent, more urgent, more dank and gloomy. But then again, this is Basin City after all. I write this review shortly after learning that the movie is dying a death at the box office. It’s easy to see why; this style of movie got old real fast – and perhaps a lot of the nuance and homage to movies of days past are long off the agenda for today’s audiences. You’d have thought Rodriguez would have learned all this from Grindhouse. But, there you go.

Those choosing to avoid the movie will miss a wondrous little violent romp full to the brim with character and passion. A Dame to Kill For is almost certainly destined to be resigned to the bargain basement, with a part three never to become a reality. I think I’ve found my own personal guilty pleasure of the year, with an audience of one.


Author: Andrew Mackay

From The Vault: Machete – An Interview With Danny Trejo

From The Vault: Machete – An Interview With Danny Trejo


On the eve of the 17th Feb release of Machete Kills on DVD & Blu-Ray we’ve dug back into the vault and pulled out an interview back from the release of the original Machete movie with it’s star, the one and only Danny Trejo.  

Danny Trejo stars as the titular character in the new grindhouse action release Machet.  Trejo is one of Hollywood’s most recognisable stars, Combat Film sat down with Trejo to talk grindhouse, Hollywood and his time behind bars. 

What was it like to have Jessica Alba as your love interest in Machete?
God, she’s gorgeous. I kissed her and  then all my friends wanted to kiss me. At this age!

How many knives do you carry under that jacket in Machete?
Actually that’s a secret, but there’s between 20 and 40.

Did you have to carry them all?
Well, in the jacket, they were in the jacket. Otherwise, Machete just carries six, I think, and two machetes, six small knives and two machetes.

Did you cut yourself during filming?
No. Thank God.

How many litres of blood did you spill in the movie?
A lot. But the good thing about Robert Rodriguez is that he comes from like a cartoon background, so even the blood is funny. It’s comical and it’s gross all at the same time. I cut three guys’ heads off and people were laughing. They were like, “Go, go, go!” My mum is 83 and she hates violent movies, but she was at my premiere and she loved it. She loved it.

What was the most outrageous and challenging scene to do?
When I was crashing through the window holding onto some guts. When I read the script I was like, “What are you talking about? I don’t understand.” But then I was like, “Okay, that sounds really good.” And now I think the guts really took it, like, “Wow! That’s awesome!” That was fun and that was challenging. 

Do you regret any of your tattoos?
No. I love tattoos. I literally love tattoos. I think body art is great, but some people can rock them, some people can’t. Some people look silly in them, other people, they just fit. You’ve just got to find out. These days I see a lot of girls with ankle tattoos, or something cute, and that’s great. When I was growing up, you never saw a girl with a tattoo. So styles go and styles come, but tattoos are forever, so once you put it on, it’s there. I’ve had this one on my chest since 1965. My tattoo, it’s the most famous tattoo in the world.

It’s in every movie that you’re in, but I never thought it was real.
[Looks outraged] It is. [Shows chest] That was done in prison by a friend of mine called Harry ‘Super Jew’ Ross, and we started it in San Quentin and then I got kicked out of San Quentin and I went to Folsom. It was almost a scene from West Side Story, because I was on the bus in chains being shipped up because of the trouble I had got into, and this was Harry’s first tattoo, so he’s going, “Don’t. Wait. Nobody touch it. I’ll go to Folsom, I’ll go to Folsom.” So about six months later, he showed up and did some more of it. There was a big riot in Folsom and I got sent to Soledad and he got sent to Vacaville, and he came down afterwards from Vacaville and finished it.

How many years did that take?
About three. Maybe two and a half years. But I’ve got a plaque at home that has a picture of it on, which says, “Most Recognisable Tattoo in the World” by International Tattoo magazine.

Is it based on an actual woman?
No, it’s just a picture we drew. A senorita with a hat. You call them “charas”, they used to ride with Pancho Villa, they carried the guns and cook and do all that stuff. But they weren’t servants, they were fighters, so goes Mexican folk-lore.

What do you remember most about prison?
The fact that there are only two kinds of people: there is predator and there is prey. That’s it.

How much worse are prisons these days, compared to when you were on the inside?
Well, I know about California that there are so many more people in prison, so since there are so many more people in prison, they are all over-crowded because of a lot of the ridiculous laws, so a lot more people are going to prison for less and less reason.

 If your boxing career had continued, would you have hit the big time?
It was said that I was pretty good, but boxing is management. A lot of boxing doesn’t have to do with skill, it’s management. And so I think that’s about the best way to say it. I know a lot of great fighters that can’t get good fights.

 Could you have been such a success if you weren’t so scary looking?
(laughs) Well, I could have been Brad Pitt. But I’m not. I knew a long time ago I wasn’t a pretty boy so I was content with being the bad guy because it always seemed like the movie stars were pretty boys: Brad Pitt, Leonardo DiCaprio, Stallone… They’re pretty.

Stallone is pretty?
(laughs) Well… I don’t know.

How much fun is it to play a hard guy all the time?
It’s a job. It’s easy to do. And with a face like mine, I’m not going to be Leonardo DiCaprio (laughs) So I have a certain look. Now, I can be a good bad guy, or I could be a cop if I’m edgy.

You could play an artist or a painter.
An artist? But I wouldn’t get to beat up anybody or shoot anybody (laughs). And I just love action movies. I did a movie called SherryBaby, and at first I hated it, because I was the nice guy. Everyone else got to beat her up, and I didn’t get to sock anybody or shoot anybody. But I have a lot of fun in films, for me that’s what it’s all about. If I’m not enjoying it, I don’t want to do it.

You’ve been in nearly 200 movies. Isn’t it about time you took a sabbatical, laid up on a tropical beach somewhere and wrote your memoirs?
Not really. My life is a vacation. I love what I do. This is my life. My kids are grown, they only call me in emergencies or for money (laughs). I have three dogs and everyone else takes care of them for me. And I don’t golf. Making movies is the most fun.

What about writing your memoirs?
I don’t know. There is a book, it’s called Champion, and it’s about my life-story, and that’s about as far as I want to go. I don’t want to sit down with somebody and start writing. My life is interesting to everybody but me.

You are finally a leading man. Playing Machete, is this the greatest honour of your long and distinguished career?
Yes. Absolutely. This is the greatest honour, thank you. And thank you Robert Rodriguez for bestowing on me being the first Latino action hero. I owe a lot to our predecessors: remember Pedro Gonzalez? He was one of the first Mexican actors in John Wayne movies, but he was the goof. He was the, “Forgive me senor,” guy, the funny guy, and we’ve come a long way since then. I have to thank him, and other Latin actors since then. (Shouts) “Badges? We don’t need no stinking badges!”

What’s your favourite prison movie – Tom Selleck’s An Innocent Man?
No. No. No. My favourite prison movie is a movie called Animal Factory. That was from a book written by Eddie Bunker. If you want to read the best criminal novel ever written, read Education Of A Felon by Edward Bunker. Great, great, great criminal novel that gets into the mind of a criminal. And Eddie Bunker is the guy that first hired me to be in a movie, he hired me to be in a movie called Runaway Train with Jon Voight and Eric Roberts. And he was my friend in prison and he was my friend throughout life. He passed away but he was a great, great writer.

How did you get hired that first time?
I showed up on a movie set by accident once. I was a drug counsellor working with kids, and one of the kids I was working with called me up and said, “Hey, I’m having a problem, I think I’m going to use,” and in 1985 cocaine was crazy on sets. I thought he had a regular job, but I turned up and it was a prison movie, and I thought it was the cutest thing I had ever seen – I kept smearing their tattoos, they were all fake tattoos, and I had a whole bunch of real ones. So this guy looks at me and says, “Do you want to be in this movie?” And I said, “What do I have to do?” And he said, “Do you want to be an extra?” “An extra what?” And he said, “Can you act like a convict?” I thought, “I’ve been in every prison in the State of California, I’ll give it a shot.” (laughs)

So I took off my shirt, to put on their blue shirt, and I had the big tattoo on my chest, and people who have been in prison know that it was a prison tattoo. I didn’t get that in a tattoo shop or in the Marines; it’s not about loving my mother, it’s a prison tattoo. So all of a sudden this guy comes over and says, “Hey, you’re Danny Trejo.” I said yeah. He said, “I saw you win the lightweight and welterweight titles up at San Quentin.” I said, “Yeah, you’re Eddie Bunker.” He was the guy that used to write, and I knew him in prison. He said, “What are you doing here?” So I told him I was hanging out with this kid, trying to help him, and he said, “Do you want a job? They need somebody to train one of the actors how to box.”

So you talk about God-shots or divine intervention or whatever. I said, “What’s it pay?” And he said, “$320 a day.” So I asked him how bad he wanted this guy beaten up. I couldn’t believe $320 a day for one fight. I would have chewed Godzilla’s ear off for fifty bucks. So I started training Eric Roberts how to box. The director saw me and he liked the fact I could control Eric – he was young then and didn’t care, but he wanted to learn how to box, so he would do whatever I told him to do. From there, to right now, I have done about 188 movies.

You must have got to a point where you got a pay-cheque bigger than $320.
Wait, let me tell you something. They hired me on a daily, and $320 a day to me means that at the end of the day, you get $320, okay, cool. So I worked for three weeks 16 or 17 hours daily. In the SAG union, that would be time and a half, then double time, and because you worked 16 hours, they are supposed to let you rest 12 hours. What that means is the money you have earned for this day gets put up in front the next day. I don’t know any of this. I’m just counting $320, $320, $320. I was just adding up all the $320s. That was enough for me! But when I got that first cheque, I looked at it and went, “Woah!” I put it in my pocket and didn’t say nothing. I started leaving and Eddie said, “Where are you going?” I said, “I’m out of here. They made a big mistake.” I just wanted to go and cash it. They could ask me for the money back later. He was like, “No, no, let’s figure it out. Oh yeah, overtime, yeah. This is right.” I knew nothing. I’d never been on a movie set in my life.

So when you got an even bigger cheque, what did you spend it on?
You know what? I was married so a lot of it went to my wife. “How much did I make?” (laughs) But for the first part of my career, I was a single parent. During Runaway Train, I was a single parent. The craft service, they used to have a huge table with salamis and cheese and meat, so I would always make three or four sandwiches and take them home for me and my son the next day. Then one day, some girl comes up and says, “Oh Danny, you have a meal penalty.” And I had four sandwiches, so I was like, “No, no, I’m making these for some of the guys.” I thought she was penalising me for taking too much food, but she said, “No, no, we didn’t feed you within six hours, so you get $100 worth of food.” “Oh okay, so help me make sandwiches!”

How old were you when you first started in movies?
In 1985, I was 38 years old already. I had been a drug counselor ever since I got out of prison. I still work for Western Pacific Rehab. We still detoxify drug addicts and I do a lot of their public relations. People always call me and say, “This guy’s pretty hooked, can you help him?” and I still do that.

What has changed since the 80’s with drugs in Hollywood?
I think the worst thing that has happened since the 80’s is crack cocaine. Crack cocaine and crystal meth. Now the kids are just frying their brains. We’ve managed to push drugs more and more underground, but parents don’t want to talk about it any more. Parents are afraid to ask their kids, “Are you smoking weed?” I ask my daughter every day, “Are you getting loaded?” “No, Dad.” “Okay, cool.”

Smoking weed isn’t going to destroy your life though.
You’re right, it’s not, but it’s against the law. That’s the only problem. I think they should either legalise it and then just leave it alone… these are just my views okay. We have a war on drugs, that means this war on drugs supports the DEA, the FBI, the CIA, all these agencies, so if they legalise drugs – and I’m not advocating legalising drugs but this is a reality – if they legalise drugs, all these guys would be looking for a job. So it’s not only the war against drugs, we’re trying to save our economy.

We take it you don’t vote Republican?
(laughs) You know what? I try to vote what I honestly believe to be the best for people. It’s just the way. So if it’s Republican, Democrat, Independent – if there is an issue that I believe in that is not of my party, or whatever, then I will vote for that. I think that’s the best way I can say that.

Do you still drink alcohol?
No. Stopped drinking in 1968.

Machete being your first real leading role, are you hoping to get more lead roles now?
You know, I love to work. I’m not going to sit around and wait for just lead roles to come around. I will work all the time. If somebody wants me to play a tree, I will play a tree. If they want me to put fruit on it, they can pay me more money. But I just love to work. And I see guys in the gym, not working, waiting around to be the leading man. I’ll be like, “I don’t care, I want to work.” It drives me crazy hanging out.

What role do you get recognised most for?
For kids, and parents, it’s Spy Kids. But people remember me from Desperado, people loved From Dusk Till Dawn and now, just from the trailer, people shout, “Machete!” That’s funny.

You’ve worked with George Clooney, Johnny Depp, Al Pacino, how was that?
I have learned something from all of them, but the man who I think is one of America’s greatest actors is Robert De Niro. I love watching him. And I like the fact that he’s not like… a Johnny Depp. Depp’s just beautiful. But Robert De Niro still looks like Charles Bronson. And I love Charles Bronson. I worked with him a couple of times too.

What do you think the secret of success in Hollywood is?
Me? One of the keys to success is making sure that the people you work with want to work with you again. If you have an attitude, if you’re late, if you don’t feel good, or if you’re like, “I want a chai latte with whipped cream, with soy!” then people start to say, “Oh.” You know what I mean? But if you’re an asset, like on any job, make yourself an asset then people want to work with you again.

Don’t you need a lot of luck?
No. Luck don’t got nothing to do with it. People who are waiting around for luck are the people who aren’t shaking hands and being nice to other people and aren’t being polite. I was on this movie and there were three grips sitting in chairs, and an old lady standing. I was thinking, “What is wrong with this picture?” This old lady was 60, 70 years old, so I went over and said to the grips, “Get up. Get out of here!” I sat her down. I thought she was just an extra, but later, the director came over and said, “Danny, thanks for getting my mum that chair.” I didn’t know it was his mum, I swear to God I didn’t. I just saw an old lady standing and three guys sitting. So maybe those grips don’t want to work again, but I make sure everybody who works with me wants to work with me again. And so far, I have accomplished that.

What would you have done if you hadn’t got into movies?
I would still be a drug counsellor, working with kids, and I am. Everything good that has happened to me has happened as a direct result of helping someone out. So I dedicate my life to helping people. I go to juvenile halls, to high schools, prisons. You look at Hollywood, at the actors that are having problems in their lives, none of them give anything back. They are all very, very selfish, very, very self-centred, very, very egotistical, “What’s in it for me?” Well, nothing is in it for you but problems, until you start giving it back. I don’t mean financially, I mean your time. If you’re an actor you should be talking to kids in juvenile hall and telling them, “Wait, there’s a better way to go. You do this, you get in trouble.” That’s what I do.

Machete Kills is out now on Blu-ray, DVD and Download on the 17th Feb 2014.