The Girl In The Spiders Web (2018) – A Quick Capsule Review

The Girl In The Spiders Web (2018) – A Quick Capsule Review

Quick Review

Phil’s Quick Capsule Review:
The Girl In The Spiders Web has two main issues.  The first is the fact that the trailer pretty much gives away the whole story – not least a pivotal end moment.   The second (and far worse crime) is that despite this the rest of it’s still pretty uninspiring playing like the Bourne movies nobody liked directed by someone that wasn’t David Fincher (thus robbing the film of the main reason to see the original US Dragon tattoo film). Foy is fine as is the rest of the cast but this just feels like Jason Bourne all over again.  Too late and nothing new.

Best Bit: Sniper

Buy, Stream, Avoid: Stream

If You Liked this Try: Jason Bourne, The Bourne Legacy, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo 


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Phil’s End Of Year Awards 2016

Phil’s End Of Year Awards 2016

Quick Review Year In Review

So 2016 is almost over and it’s that time a year again where everyone reflects back on their best and worst films of the year.  So we’ve covered our best and our worst films of 2016, so before we look at the films coming up in 2016 here’s my ‘Alternative’ End of Year Awards for 2016…


The Most Entertainingly Bad Film Of The Year Award…
Gods Of Egypt


The best film to watch on a train as it makes it 100 times less shit Award…
Gods Of Egypt 

Surprise of The Year Award…
Low Budget films rule the roost!

Performance Of The Year Award…
Mark Kermode… for his oddly favourable reviews for his friends movies (see Jason Bourne)

Just Fuck Off and Die Award…

Michael Bay & the Transformers 5 trailer.

Least Deserving Commercial Bomb of The Year Award…
The Nice Guys


Come In Your time is Up Award…
Johnny Depp’s career (see Alice Through The Looking Glass & Yoga Hosers)


Trailer Of The Year Award…
Suicide Squad
Let Down of The Year Award…
Suicide Squad


It’s NOT the fact it has women in it, it’s just the fact it’s actually an average film Award…


The “Really? It takes some effort to fuck up this much” Award…
DC/Warner Brothers. How hard IS it to fuck up films with THESE characters?


Cameo of The Year Award…
Jesus (Ben Hur)


The Oscars only like REALLY famous dead people award for missing out other stars who died Award…
The Oscars for leaving out George Gaynes, Vanity, Gunnar Hanson & Rowdy Roddy Piper


The Proof That Award Shows Suck Award…
Sly Stallone, Creed, The Martian, Star Wars: The Force Awakens all missing out on awards


The Poof That Award Shows DONT Suck Award…
Ex Machina being awarded for Best Visual Effects

All reboots and remakes suck award and here’s the proof Award…
Point Break, Ghostbusters, Ben Hur


Okay so not ALL remakes & reboots suck Award…
Westworld. The Jungle Book.
Yup we just made it for the money award (aka The Sequels Suck Award…
Independence Day Resurgence, Jason Bourne, Now You See Me 2, Alice Through The Looking Glass


Films That SHOULD have been on my 2015 List’s but I Hadn’t Seen…
The Lady In The Van,  Straight Outta Compton, The Survivalist


Next time: Phil’s Look at 2016 and a look back at my 2017 predictions… 

Phil’s 5 Worst Films of 2016

Phil’s 5 Worst Films of 2016

2016: In Review Quick Review Year In Review

So 2016 is almost over and it’s that time a year again where everyone reflects back on their best and worst films of the year.

So first up… the 5 WORST film of 2016.  And there were quite a few to choose from..

Stinker of The Year: Point Break (2016)
In Brief: A film that had no purpose to exist.  Point Break touched on hallow ground for me so it would have to be pretty special for me to like it.  This film wasn’t.  In fact it totally sucked. Whilst the original was sharp, smart and exciting this remake is by the numbers, dull and worst of all made no sense. A bomb, critical failure and a mess.



2. Central Intelligence
In Brief: Neither funny or action packed, the first bomb the Rock has ever made.  Yes Central Intelligence is a film that the Rock can’t save.

3. London Has Fallen
In Brief: Other films scored worse but after the Top 5 film that was Olympus Has fallen, London Has Fallen was SUCH a come down that it, on reflection, rated as one of 2016’s worst films.

4. Inferno
In Brief: Oh Dear.  Ron Howard drops a total bollock with this horrid film.  Witness some of the worst dialogue ever put on screen with Tom Hanks worst performance.  Utter tosh.

5. Jason Bourne 
In Brief:  It’s almost criminal that a Bourne film could be this bad, especially as it reunites Greengrass and Damon. It was just dull.

6. Kickboxer Vengeance
7. The 5th Wave

8. The Girl On The Train 
9.  Cabin Fever
10. 31


Dis-Honourable Mentions: Divergent Allegiant, Triple 9, Bastille Day, The Mechanic Resurrection, Independence Day Resurgence, Dad’s Army


Jason Bourne – A Quick Capsule Review

Jason Bourne – A Quick Capsule Review

Quick Review

Phil’s Quick Capsule Review:
Jason Bourne is a slog.  It’s starts fine but it isn’t long until you realise that what you are seeing is basically a ‘best of compilation’ of Bourne’s greatest hits from films gone by.  A car chase.  A fight. A shoot out. Political intrigue. Another project. Locations. Things.  God I’m bored. Nothing lands here.  Nothing beats what’s gone before and mostly you are left thinking “Why”.  It’s just dull, over earnest and dull. Even the excellent Alicia Vikander looks bored in her first big budget action film.  Go back and watch the original trilogy instead.

Best Bit: Great seeing Tommy Lee Jones on the big screen once again

Buy, Stream, Avoid: Avoid

If You Liked this Try: The Bourne Identity, The Bourne Supremacy, The Bourne Ultimatum

IMDB Rating: 


Author: Phil Hobden

Phil’s Best To Worst: 2016 Blockbusters

Phil’s Best To Worst: 2016 Blockbusters

Best... Other Cr*p

Listed in reserve order (From Worst to Best) Phil, of Phil’s Quick Capsule Review, breaks down a film related subject in order of his own personal enjoyment.  This time out: 2016 Blockbusters 

(Not Seen: Jason Bourne, The Legend Of Tarzan,


Worst: The Divergent Series: Allegiant – Part 1

Such a drag of a film, like all the Divergent films they just don’t work enough for me to care.


12. Independence Day Resurgence

The sequel no-one wanted to a film few people care about.  Yup this was a sure fire bomb.


11. The Huntsman Winters War 

Well it was better than the first one! (Generally anything WITHOUT Kristen Stewart is an instant improvement)


10. Warcraft  

Not the critical mess you’ve been led to believe but far from essential


9. Ghostbusters (2016)

The fact they were women was a mute point when this reboot/remake forgot to include enough laughs to make it a worthwhile experience.


8. Suicide Squad

The trailer of the year delivers one of the bigger let downs. Sadly this promised lots and delivered very little.


7. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Out of The Shadows

This could have been worse.  (Could have been better too).  It had it’s moments and Amell was great.


6. Now You See Me 2 

This sequel improved on the original in almost every way… except the point when it crawled up it’s own behind.  Up until then however…


5. The Jungle Book (2016)

It’s a good film.  It’s also a technically brilliant film.  It’s just not a brilliant film in it’s own right.  If you see what I mean…


4. X-Men: Apocalypse 

Not as good as First Class, better than Days Of Future Past.  But probably shows that this franchise need a break for a while…


3. Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice  

Forget the critics I liked BVSDOJ a lot.  Just don’t worry about the Extended version too much. It just offers length. And in a near 3 hour films already thats not what you need more of.


2. Captain America: Civil War 

The war was too civil and further signs of Marvel’s halo starting to slip are present but this is still top notch blockbuster fare.


Best: Star Trek Beyond

Better than Wrath of Into Darkness, not QUITE as good as JJ’s reboot.  Beyond offers a celebratory 50th anniversary offering that is just what the doctor ordered.  Summer 2016’s bets blockbuster !