Exodus Gods And Kings (2014) – A Revisited Not-So Quick Capsule Review

Exodus Gods And Kings (2014) – A Revisited Not-So Quick Capsule Review

Quick Review

So Ridley Scott’s latest… well to save you time (both in reading this review and watching this film) it joins a VERY small list of films I couldn’t actually finish.  Yup with a planner full of Justin’s, House Of Cards and, frankly, watching point dry as alternatives I gave up at just over an hour and a quarter.

However in lieu of a review of the full film, this is what I have learnt from what I managed to endure:

1) All Egyptians are camper than Julian Clary at a camping exhibition on national be camp day.

2) Every-time a Hebrew speaks I keep expecting dialogue from Life Of Brian to come out. Yes it’s that badly mounted at times.

3) It looks amazing. Computers can sure make an impressive looking film. Sadly however as you know nothing is real in the film and everything is CGI (maybe even Bale’s beard?) I keep trying to grab my PS4 remote to start playing the game then remember it’s actually a film and I haven’t just been watching cut scenes. This is disappointing. 

4) ALL Ridley Scott films MUST start with Basil Exposition captions. It’s the law. 

5) There are no mirrors in Ancient Egypt. If there were, Moses would clearly be able to see he looks nothing like a fucking Egyptian and therefore when he is told he is in fact Hebrew he, like everyone else watching, should be able to go ” Duh! No shit! Do I look like one of them?”. This could make the film about an hour shorter. 

6) John Turturro is a terrible actor. This is only JUST a step up from his appearances in Transformers. He should now retire safe in the knowledge that anything good he once did has now been forgotten. Much like Rolph Harris. 

7) Egyptians seem to have accents ranging from what I assume is Egyptian, to American, to British American to I have no god damn idea what accent Turturro was doing.  This is Russell Crowe in Robin Hood all over again but with a whole cast instead.

8) Time jumps from meeting someone to getting married in the NEXT SHOT just doesn’t work at all. Then to do it again seconds later and he has kids? Criminal.

9) Alien and to a lesser extend Blade Runner were flukes. Ridley Scott is a hack.

10) Prometheus 2 should now be avoided at all costs. As should this.

 


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The Guest (2014) – A Quick Capsule Review (Revisited)

The Guest (2014) – A Quick Capsule Review (Revisited)

Quick Review

Phil’s Quick Capsule Review:
The Guest is rather good.  Actually it’s excellent.  Which is a good thing because at times you’re not quite sure whether this film will end up being as bold as it sets out.  With a winning central performance by Dan Stevens, some top notch directing from Wingard and enough bat shit mental moments to reference for a long time to come, The Guard is truly one of the most unique films of the year.

Best Bit: Stevens central performance.

Buy, Rent, Stream, Borrow: Rent

If You Liked this Try: Drive, You’re Next, The Purge

 

Rating:


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World’s Greatest Dad (2009) – A Quick Capsule Review (Revisited)

World’s Greatest Dad (2009) – A Quick Capsule Review (Revisited)

Quick Review

Phil’s Quick Capsule Review:
Damn. There’s nothing like watching a career best performance to make you REALLY realise how you are going to miss someone.  It’s hard to watch a Robin Williams film now with no degree of post death hyperbole or cushioned, romantic, teary eyes critical love.  The sadness of his passing make sit almost impossible.  Yet beyond all this, his performance here is nothing short of excellent. Touching, heart breaking and fragile, Williams gives a more nuanced performance that his more audience friendly roles he will be remembered for. Which is a shame as World’s Greatest Dad could well be his most intimate look into himself, into Robin Williams the flawed genius.  Watch for Williams but stay for the really rather exellant film he’s part of.

Best Bit: Robin Williams

Buy, Rent, Stream, Borrow: Buy

If You Liked this Try: God Bless America, Good Will Hunting, One Hour Photo

 

Rating:

 


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The Boxtrolls (2014) – A Quick Capsule Review (Revisited)

The Boxtrolls (2014) – A Quick Capsule Review (Revisited)

Quick Review

Phil’s Quick Capsule Review:
In this day and ace of CGI animation all looking the same, it’s easy to forget how much effort goes into making a film like The Boxtrolls. That effort doesn’t make it a good film however,.  For that you need top quality voice acting, a good director, innovative and exciting set pieces, a dark humour and a cracking script.  Which is lucky because The Boxtrolls has all this in spades. Okay so it’s not as good as Coraline for me but that’s only because that film was so good.  The Boxtrolls is a joy – just be weary at times it was far too much for my 5 year old daughter to take.

Best Bit: Kingsley is superb

Buy, Rent, Stream, Borrow: Buy

If You Liked this Try:  Coraline, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Wallace & Gromit Curse Of The Warerabbit

 

Rating:


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What We Are In The Shadows (2014) – A Quick Capsule Review (Revisited)

What We Are In The Shadows (2014) – A Quick Capsule Review (Revisited)

Quick Review

Phil’s Quick Capsule Review:
Well that’s a disappointment.  A Man Bites Dog meets Spinal Tap style documentary about Vampires sounded like a winner but sadly, whilst it has it’s bloody moments, the film completely forgot to add any laughs, instead wallowing in it’s own cleverness.  There’s not much more to say… a comedy without laughs, a horror without scares, a film without interest… it’s all just a little bit too full of itself. Disappointing.

Best Bit: The Werewolf bit is as funny as it goes

Buy, Rent, Stream, Borrow: Borrow

If You Liked this Try: Man Bites Dog, Spinal Tap, Borat

 

Rating:

 

Paddington – A Quick Capsule Review (Revisited)

Paddington – A Quick Capsule Review (Revisited)

Quick Review

Phil’s Quick Capsule Review:
Paddington is a joy of a film. There’s no other way to describe it.  A superbly realised kids film but with a humour and charm that will appeal to adults also.  From it’s fully realised lead character to it’s excellent cast (Whishaw as the titular bear stands out) who all connect so strongly with the audience.  Even without this,  however, the filmmakers throw in enough goofy set pieces to make you laugh out loud.  If I had ANY issues with the film it would be that maybe the FX don’t quite live up to the budget’s realities BUT this is a very small point in what is really a wonderful film.  Both for kids AND adults.

Best Bit: Paddington settles in to the house!

Buy, Rent, Stream, Borrow: Buy

If You Liked this Try: Shaun The Sheep, The Boxtrolls, The Book of Life

 

Rating:

 


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Kajaki – A Quick Capsule Review (Revisited)

Kajaki – A Quick Capsule Review (Revisited)

Quick Review

Phil’s Quick Capsule Review:
Kajaki is the best movie from 2014 that you haven’t seen.  Scrub that it’s probably one of the best movies from 2104 period.  Kajaki is as brutal and intimate a war movie as you are ever likely to experience.  And trust me experience is the word… I watched Kajaki and at times forgot to breathe.  The tension is palpable, the acting flawless and the direction outstanding.  This is a must see.

Best Bit: Tension.  In spades.

Buy, Stream, Avoid: Buy

If You Liked this Try: BlackHawk Down, Platoon, ’71


Rating:

 


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The Babadook – A Quick Capsule Review (Revisited)

The Babadook – A Quick Capsule Review (Revisited)

Quick Review

Phil’s Quick Capsule Review:
There’s little left to be said about The Babadook.  From All Things Film’s own Andrew Mackay’s glowing review to the heaps of 5 star reviews across the globe, it’s fair top say the film arrives with bucket loads of hype.  And you know what… for once it actually deserves it! Scary as hell, this old school horror film is so unsettling and oppressive that it will stay will for you for weeks to come. Needless to say this is a film that demands to be seen in teh best possible way – so turn off the lights, send teh kids to bed and get prepared to be scared shitless.

Best Bit: Direction.  One of the most assured feature debuts ever.

Buy, Rent, Stream, Borrow: Buy

If You Liked this Try: The Shining, The Others, We Need To Talk About Kevin

Rating: 

 

Author: Phil Hobden

 

 

 

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The Equalizer – A Quick Capsule Review (Revisited)

The Equalizer – A Quick Capsule Review (Revisited)

Quick Review

Phil’s Quick Capsule Review:
The Equalizer is a film Tony Scott would have made if he’d still ben alive. In fact if anything it feels like a prequel to Man On Fire. If this sounds like a great idea, then this is very much for you.  A revenge film heavy on revenge, violence and creative ways to kill, this is Washington (and director Antoine Fuqua for that matter) on cruise mode. But he does ‘Cruise’ almost better than anyone and whilst he’s never stretched he’s certainly having fun.  And that’s never a bad thing.  In short: Bloody, violent if a bit over long.

Best Bit: Home depot finale

Buy, Rent, Stream, Borrow: Rent

If You Liked this Try: Commando, Man On Fire, Harry Brown

 

Author: Phil Hobden

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Ant Man – A Quick Capsule Review (Revisited)

Ant Man – A Quick Capsule Review (Revisited)

Quick Review

Phil’s Quick Capsule Review:
Ant Man isn’t what you expect.  For all those who (wrongly) complain that all the Marvel film are the same, here you have a heist movie come buddy comedy which (for the most part) separates itself from the wider Marvel universe and just sets about making itself a fun, entertaining film. Something it does in spades.  The cast is great, with great rapport between Rudd and Douglas, the FX top notch and the script (by in part former project director Edgar Wright) is the right side of silly. Ant Man makes up for the slightly disappointing Age Of Ultron, and shows that given an interesting property Marvel can pretty much make anything work on screen.

Best Bit: Train Fight!

Buy, Stream, Avoid: Stream

If You Liked this Try: Iron Man, Captain america Winter Solider, Guardians Of The Galaxy


Rating:
 

 

Author: Phil Hobden

 

 

 

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