Motion Picture Maniac

Motion Picture Maniac

Fifty Shades Darker – Motion Picture Maniac

So… yeah… I went to the cinema to see Fifty Shades Darker, the sequel to Fifty Shades Of Grey, a movie about a sweet innocent idiot who ends up in a controlling and abusive relationship with a billionaire sadist and… not much else to be perfectly honest, the plot didn’t really go further than that. Speaking of being perfectly honest, ... Read More »

Resident Evil: The Final Chapter – Motion Picture Maniac

What can I say guys, I have a lot of guilty pleasures, Showgirls, The Happening, The Last Airbender, every single one of them are God awful beyond all comprehension and yet I own them all on DVD, not because I think they’re good, but rather because watching them makes me laugh like I’m trying to kill myself, I howl until ... Read More »

Gold – Motion Picture Maniac

Remember when the Wolf Of Wall Street came out and a fair amount of prudish fools said it was too vulgar, too profane, sexual, stuffed with drugs and immoral? Well boy do I have the film for them – Gold, starring Matthew McConaughey, is exactly like the Wolf Of Wall Street if it had all the swearing, sex, drugs and ... Read More »

Rings – Motion Picture Maniac

“WHY… WON’T… THIS… DEAD… HORSE… GET… UP?” I imagine these words flying from the mouth of a studio executive with booming rage as he tries his very best to justify another Ring film despite interest in the franchise dwindling quicker than flesh in a furnace, which probably started around the time a car got itself ravaged by the worst CGI ... Read More »

xXx: Return Of Xander Cage review – Motion Picture Maniac

“Let me simplify it for you, kick some ass, get the girl, and try… to look dope while you’re doing it” This, so called, “line” the great Samuel L. Jackson has the, ahem… honour of delivering at the end of xXx: Return Of Xander Cage, the third instalment to the Oscar winning Vin Diesel/Ice Cube action franchise, makes me laugh ... Read More »

The Best and the Worst of 2016 – Motion Picture Maniac

2016 absolutely sucked, not just because we had, what felt like, twice as many bad films as usual, but more celebrity deaths than one can count and the UK and US trying to out-do each other in the “see who can make the worst political decision ever” competition. But alas, we are here just to talk about the films we ... Read More »

I, Olga Hepnarova – Motion Picture Maniac

Even as I attempt to begin this review, I’m still not entirely sure how or where I should start; you see, I saw a movie the other day – “I, Olga Hepnarova” (sometimes titled I, Olga for short), a film of such staggering brilliance and poignancy, that, when it ended, I had to immediately put it right back to the ... Read More »

Ouija: Origin Of Evil – Motion Picture Maniac

Ouija: Origin Of Evil, is fun… I can hardly believe it either, it’s a film that shouldn’t be good and yet it is, it’s a sequel to one of the worst horror films in recent memory, it has the word “origin” in its title, just reason after reason to be horrible and yet I found it really enjoyable; is the ... Read More »

Norte: The End Of History – Motion Picture Maniac

Statistically speaking, Lav Diaz appears to be one of the best filmmakers that no one has ever heard of, his movies get tons and tons of praise at festivals, raking in big awards like the Golden Leopard at Locarno, the Silver Bear at Berlin and, most recently, the Golden Lion at Venice; and yet his films are rarely ever seen ... Read More »

Jack Reacher: Never Go Back – Motion Picture Maniac

Speaking as someone who actually really enjoyed the first Jack Reacher film, it pains me to say that its sequel, Jack Reacher: Never Go Back (never go back to where? The cinema to see this thing again?) is a big disappointment, not just because I like the first one, but because it has Tom Cruise as the star and Edward ... Read More »