Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw (2019): Review by Grosse Point Geek

Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw (2019): Review by Grosse Point Geek

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Plot in a nutshell: Special Agent Luke Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) and former SAS Operative Deckard Shaw (Jason Statham) are reluctantly forced to team up with Shaw’s sister (Vanessa Kirby) who also happens to be a rogue MI6 agent and go after a genetically and technologically enhanced terrorist (Idris Elba) who is hell bent on releasing a virus that will wipe out most of humanity.

 

 

What worked: Being honest  – pretty much all of it. Johnson and Statham make a great double act and bounce off each other very well, both delivering some great one liners and trading  alot of extremely funny insults. However its Vanessa Kirby who really shines , displaying bucket loads of charisma, out acting both her hulking male co stars, and  more than holding her own in all the action scenes. In addition, despite being too good for a film like this Idris Elba is excellent as the principle baddie.

 

 

Speaking of action this film doesnt disappoint – and its virtually non stop from the get go – theres a great car/motorbike chase early on, a preposterous but extremely well handled set piece in Russia which involves enormous explosions, masses of gunfire and more than just a bit of bone crushing fisticuffs. However the best is left to last when Johnson, Kirby and Statham enlist the help of Hobbs hard as nails Samoan family for a bonkers final 20 minutes that really has to be seen to be believed.

 

 

What could have been better: Its very hard to criticize a film as mad as this – admittedly its a bit long, some of the one liners dont always land, and a theres a gratuitous Kevin Hart cameo about an hour in that didnt really work at all.

 

 

Review Summary: A great big utterly mental popcorn blockbuster, jam packed with action, pickled with funny one liners and featuring some great chemistry from its three central leads.

 

 

I loved it – Great fun

 

Author: Will Strong aka Grosse Point Geek 

 


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The Lion King (2019): Review by Grosse Point Geek

The Lion King (2019): Review by Grosse Point Geek

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After his father King Mufasa (James Earl Jones) is murdered by evil Uncle Scar (Chiwetel Ejiofor), young Prince Simba is banished from the Pridelands and is presumed dead by the rest of his family. Years later, a chance encounter with an old friend forces the now adult Simba (Donald Glover) to make a choice  – stay in exile or face his destiny and challenge Scar for the throne.


What worked: 

The photo realistic animation used to bring the animals and the varying African landscapes to life  is frankly astounding  – so good in fact that you will actually think what you are watching is totally real and not animated. The voice cast are also very good and the songs are still as wonderful as the 1994 original.


What didnt work:

 As amazing as the animation is it has two major problems – and that is as we all know in real life animals dont express a vast range of facial emotions  – and this is what happens here – meaning that you are left a bit cold as the characters faces dont express the same levels of emotions as the ones in the original version also and very tellingly it just didn’t look or feel right when they talked – see it for yourself and you will know what i mean. In addition it isnt nearly as downright hilarious as the 1994 version, yes Timon and Pumbaa (voiced by Billy Eichner and Seth Rogen) still steal the show but simply can’t match the utter lunacy that Nathan Lane and Ernie Sabella brought to the characters in the original film. 

 

Finally one has to say that its all very well having brilliant photo realistic effects but unlike The Jungle Book remake and to a certain extent this years Tim Burton directed Dumbo update, when you break it down the Lion King 2019 brings absolutely nothing new to the party and at its heart is little more than a shot for shot, line for line recycled copy of what was and remains to be one of the greatest animated films of all time. Therefore if you look it it that way this means that one must view this film very cynically  – as all its purpose seems to be is to show off some fancy SFX, and make lots of money for Disney. 


Review summary: Never less than enjoyable and the animation is the best you will ever see  – but there is not one scrap of originality on show here.

 

Author: Will Strong aka Grosse Point Geek 

 

 

 


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Grosse Point Geek – Top Ten Favorite Game Of Thrones Characters

Grosse Point Geek – Top Ten Favorite Game Of Thrones Characters

A Blog Grosse Point Geek

For those of you who have been living under a rock for the past few years – Game Of Thrones is THE most popular show on the box  – and deservedly so. Now on its seventh season, audiences the world over have been captivated by its inter weaving story of dragons, white walkers, huge battles, ice covered wastes, and the eternal struggle  to rule over the fictional land of Westeros.

To say any more would be fruitless but if you like Lord Of The Rings, Excalibur, Conan The Barbarian plus  more than a small smattering of Star Wars all topped off with a serious amount of blood letting, decapitations, disemboweling and copious swearing then Game of Thrones is for you. Those with a more sensitive disposition need not bother.

Most of what makes Thrones so good though are its characters, the majority of which start out as utterly despicable or completely lovable and for the most part stay that way  – so just for a bit of fun ive complied my top ten favorites  – see below

 

(FYI Spoilers ahead!)

 

1.Tyrion Lannister (AKA The Imp). 

Played by: Peter Dinklage.

Hampered by his somewhat diminutive stature, affection for the demon drink, prostitutes and being loathed by his all powerful and admittedly horrible family, Tyrion is constantly forced to rely on his wits and cunning. You just cant help but love him – brilliantly played by Peter Dinklage, he gets all the best lines and manages to be in just about every episode so far.

Favorite scenes: Delivering a rousing speech just before the Battle of The Blackwater in Season 2 then killing his hideously smug father (Charles Dance – whilst on the toilet) with a crossbow in season 4.

Status: Still alive.

 

 

2. Bron Of The Blackwater

Played by: Jerome Flynn (yes him off Robson and Jerome and Soldier Soldier)

A whoring, wine swilling,  oik who’s also a dab hand with a sword. Started out as a small supporting character but now a firm fan favorite – mostly due to some very funny if unrepeatable one liners.

Favorite Scene: The loot train battle in S7 – brings down and almost kills Drogon the dragon with a giant crossbow then in the nick of time saves Jamie Lannister from being roasted alive by said beast.

Status: Still alive

 

 

3. Tormund Giantsbane

Played by: Kristofer Hivju

One of the so called Wildings from north of the wall. Initially a baddie but after being set free and pardoned by Jon Snow (Kit Harrington) he’s now properly on the side of right. Completely bonkers character, also a bit of a pervert –  all flaming hair, huge beard and mad eyes – making him completely brilliant – if a tad insane.

Favorite Scene: The look on his face when he first claps eyes on a very unimpressed Brienne of Tarth (Gwendoline Christie)  and falls madly in love with her, then the utterly hilarious smile he gives her in a later episode that is so funny it has to be seen to be believed

Status: Still alive

 

4. Ramsay Bolton

Played by: Iwan Rheon

Quite simply – one of the greatest villains in TV history. A psychopath and a sadist of staggering proportions – the list of his evil deeds is legend – skinning enemies alive, stabbing his father to death, castrating Theon Greyjoy (Alfie Allen), feeding his stepmother and her newborn son to the hounds, torturing Sansa Stark, plus numerous others that dont bear thinking about. Brilliantly played by Iwan Rheon – we will simply never see a baddie like this again and God help us all if we do!

Favorite Scene   – all of them  – but especially when he gets his comeuppance in s6

Status: Dead  – deservedly gets eaten alive by his own dogs but not before being given an utter shoeing by Jon Snow at The Battle of The Bastards.

5. Ser Jorah Mormont

Played by: Iain Glen

Disgraced knight of the realm, initially paid to spy on Daenerys Targaryen (Emilia Clarke) but then falls in love with her from afar and becomes her most trusted and loyal adviser. A very sympathetic, heroic and rather lovely character, who you just cant help rooting for  – played with gusto by the very fruity voiced Iain Glen.

Best scene: S5  – The Dance Of Dragons  – fights tooth and nail in a massive gladiatorial battle then saves Daenerys from certain death with a well placed spear.

Status: Dead

6. The Dragons (Rhaegal, Drogon and Viserion)

Played by: CGI creations

I always considered that the best screen dragon of all time was Vermithrax Perjorative in Dragonslayer (if you havent seen it do so asap) that was until i saw these three. Giant fire breathing beasts – last of their kind  – the so called “children” of Daenerys Targaryen – all are a wonder of visual effects genius, look completely real and elevate GOT to unlimited heights of brilliance whenever they are on the screen – damn terrifying too.

Best Scene: Hard to pick but for me it was Drogon’s nick of time appearance in S5 Dance of Dragons, then the Loot train battle and the huge fight with the white walker army  in s7.

Status: 1 Alive, 2 Dead

7. Sandor Clegane (AKA The Hound)

Played by: Rory Mcgann

Horribly disfigured, foul mouthed and very bad tempered former kings body guard. Clegane goes from being initially a really horrible person who kills without mercy to becoming almost likable and extremely sympathetic. Another interesting, well drawn character, superbly played by Rory Mcgann,  with subtle, hidden depths that have been slowly drawn out over the course of 7 seasons.

Best Scene: The massive and very bloody tavern scrap in S3

Status: Dead

8. Joffrey Baratheon

Played by: Jack Gleeson

Teenage king of Westeros and a lying, spoilt, sadistic, cowardly bully. The kind of person that deserved a right kicking from every person he ever wronged. Horrible character in fact – but so brilliantly realized by the very talented Jack Gleeson that one simply cant leave him out of this top ten.

Best Scene: Hard to say  – for me it was the wedding feast after he weds Margaery Tyrell – behaves appallingly, humiliating his uncle Tyrion but not before suffering  death by poisoning – and God did he deserve it!

Status – Very dead

9. Jamie Lannister

Played by: Nicolai Coster Waldau

A very complex character, who starts out as a total swine, who is having an affair with his sister plus mercilessly cripples young Bran Stark by pushing him out of a window. Then in a stroke of very clever plotting becomes a guy you just cant help rooting for – despite the fact that he’s on the side of the villains.

Best Scene: Saving Brienne of Tarth from the bear pit.

Status: Dead

10. Jon Snow

Played by Kit Harrington

The main GOT character and clearly modeled on Luke Skywalker. Yes i know at times hes a bit bland – but he’s completely fearless, hard as a coffin nail, great in a fight and a total classic hero.

Best Scene: For me its in my two favorite GOT episodes – The Watchers on The Wall (S4) and The Battle of The Bastards (s6). He’s in every scene and kicks so much arse with that sword of his that its a joy to watch.

Status: Still alive

There you go then  – my top ten favorite Game of Thrones characters. If you havent watched GOT yet then i implore you to do so -admittedly it took Phil Hobden a great deal of effort to get me to stick at it, but im so glad he did as its now become my favorite TV show ever and i cantrecommend it highly enough.

Valar Morgulis!

 


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Grosse Point Geek: The Top Ten Performances That Should Have Been Nominated For An Oscar But Weren’t…

Grosse Point Geek: The Top Ten Performances That Should Have Been Nominated For An Oscar But Weren’t…

A Blog Grosse Point Geek

I don’t like the Oscars much -the ceremony drags on for hours and is hideously boring,  and crammed with cringe worthy speeches (Gwynneth Paltrow and Tom Hanks being some of the worst offenders).  Every time the nominations are announced, someone that should have been a shoo in for a nod gets criminally snubbed (the list is endless) , plus invariably they don’t make sense.

Now not every actor can get a nomination for a good performance but there are some that have been so shockingly over looked by the academy  that it beggars belief. Therefore having given this a great deal of thought  i decided to  put together a list of actors that should have been nominated for Oscar but wernt – read on:

 * * * * * *

1. Film: Seven (1995)

Should have been nominated for: Best Actor (Brad Pitt).

So brutal in parts its almost a horror and featuring a twist ending that’s never been bettered, Seven will stand the test of time as the greatest serial killer film ever made. Unflinchingly dark, most of the praise went to David Fincher’s brilliant direction and the admittedly outstanding Morgan Freeman –  however its Pitt as the arrogant, idealistic Det. David Mills  that should have been far more recognized.

Best scene: Ably holding his own against Freeman (no easy feat) witness  his gut wrenching transformation in the films climax, from cocksure cop to utterly broken man when he realizes just exactly what’s in the box – outstanding.

  * * * * * *

2. Film: Man On Fire (2004)

Should have been nominated for: Best Actor-Denzel Washington.

Denzel Washington is just superb here, as suicidal bodyguard John Creasey in Tony Scott’s cracking action thriller.

Fast, furious and brutal, Man On Fire managed to be a blistering actioner and showcased a fantastic turn from Washington, who manages to pull off a very complex character whilst making him sympathetic even when he’s torturing half the criminals in Mexico.

Best Scene: A roll of duct tape, some eye wateringly placed placed explosive and a bent Mexican cop who desperately wishes “he had more time”.

  * * * * * *

3. Film: The Big Lebowski

Should have been nominated for: Best Supporting  Actor-John Turturro.

A film that flopped on release but has since  passed into legend as one of the funniest and most obscure comedies of all time. The Coen brothers masterpiece features an entire myriad of bonkers characters, from Jeff Bridges as the Dude to Tara Reid as porn star Bunny, all brilliant  – but none more so than John Turturro as the bowling ball licking, do-rag wearing pederast, Jesus Quintana.

Of all the directors in Hollywood, only the Coens could make sex offender seem funny, and every time i watch this film ive almost busted a gut laughing at Turturro’s manic performance. Greasy, foul mouthed, pretentious and strutting like a peacock, he’s only in three scenes – and he owns every one of them.

Best Scene: Threatening to shove a gun up John Goodman’s backside until the trigger goes “click”.

  * * * * * *

4. Film: True Romance

Should have been nominated for: Best Supporting Actor – Gary Oldman.

In the wake of Reservoir Dogs  – studios were in a feeding frenzy for any scripts written by Quentin Tarantino. One of which was True  Romance – funny, profane and very violent, its hard to decide which of its cast should have received the most praise. Christian Slater has never been better as the slightly unhinged Clarence, Dennis Hopper is wonderful as Slater’s doomed father, and Brad Pitt (again) is hilarious as the permanently stoned Floyd. However, its Blighty’s own Gary Oldman, appearing in just two scenes as psychopath pimp Drexl who steals the show. One eyed, horribly scarred, with bad teeth, greasy dreadlocks, he is evil incarnate, and Oldman is terrifying in the role  – bypassed by the Academy it took them until 2011  to finally reward him with a nomination  for Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy  -how did it take them so long??.

Best Scene: The strip club confrontation- “it aint white boy day is it?”.

  * * * * * *

5. Film: Good Will Hunting

Should have been nominated for: Best Supporting actor – Ben Affleck.

Matt Damon and Ben Affleck deservedly won Oscars for their self penned screenplay about a violently self destructive maths genius. Featuring some superb performances -Damon, Minnie Driver and Robin Williams all excel, but, in a career best performance, Affleck is just wonderful as Chucky, Will’s fiercely loyal, foul mouthed best friend. Getting all the best lines and being the only one who finally gets Will to realize just how much his genius is a gift from the gods, Affleck has never been better. Damon, Driver  and Williams were all nominated for their performances  – but if anyone deserved more recognition for their acting in this film it was Big Ben.

Best Scene: The building site lecture – where Chucky tells Will what the best part his day is – wonderful and more than a bit heart breaking to boot.

  * * * * * *

6. Film: Rocky Balboa (2006)

Should have been nominated for: Best Actor (Sylvester Stallone)

When it was announced that Rocky would be making a sixth bow on the big screen, the sound of collective groans was almost deafening. Its dreadful predecessor -Rocky V – had effectively killed the franchise, Stallone hadn’t had a hit in years and was stuck making some frankly godawful films (Avenging Angelo being a particular low point). So it was to everyone’s surprise that when Rocky Mark 6 came out, what was expected to be something of a joke turned out to be anything but.

Wisely going back to basics, Sly portrays Rocky as a sad,  heart broken widower (Adrian has died), desperate to connect with his yuppie son (Milo Ventimiglia) and pining for the glory days of his former life as a world class boxer. Its brilliant stuff – beautifully photographed, skilfully directed and superbly acted by Stallone, Ventimiglia and Burt Ward as Paulie.

With the obligatory training montage, a fantastic boxing match and the kind of jump for joy feel-good factor rarely seen in films today  -this was, without doubt, one of the best nights ive ever had at the cinema – lets just say that grown men were known to cry!

Best Scene – Rocky’s heart rending confession to Paulie how bitter he is about Adrian dying and his struggles with the “beast” inside him.

  * * * * * *

7. Film:  The Lord of The Rings: The Return of the King (2003)

Should have been nominated for: Best Supporting Actor- Sean Astin

Ok ROTK deservedly won just about all its categories at the 2005 Oscars  – but, despite this the only actor to ever get a nomination was Ian Mckellan as Gandalf in The Fellowship of The Ring.

With its huge cast its very hard to say who  gives the best performance – the likes of Viggo Mortensen, Elijah Wood and Bernard Hill are all superb, but for me the standout was Sean Astin as Sam.

Now some American actors can do good British accents – but these are the types usually adopted in films like Shakespeare in Love and Gladiator.

Here, however, the very American Sean Astin did the impossible and pulled off an absolutely pitch perfect west country accent, and on top of that  turned in a frankly outstanding  performance that anchored the entire trilogy.

Best Scene: ROTK – Unable to go any further, and weighed down by the  ring, Frodo (Elijah Wood) collapses with exhaustion on the slopes of Mount Doom. Refusing to let him give up, Sam  gently tells Frodo about the wonders of the shire, then in one last gasp of strength, painfully hauls his beloved friend over his shoulder and makes his way up the mountain to destroy the one ring.

  * * * * * *

 8. Tombstone (1994)

Should have been nominated for: Best Supporting Actor: Val Kilmer.

In 1994 there were two adaptations of the story of Wyatt Earp.  Lawrence Kasdan and Kevin Costner’s version was a rather bloated and overlong affair, but George P Cosmato’s Tombstone was by far the clear winner.

Ok it isn’t Shakespeare, there are some gaping plot holes, some of the editing is a bit iffy and by all accounts it was a nightmare shoot ( original director Kevin Jarre got the boot early on).

Despite this, it’s a very entertaining  film. Kurt Russell is very good as Wyatt Earp , as are Michael Biehn and Powers Boothe as the main villains.

However its Kilmer that shines the most  as the Latin spewing,  tuberculosis ridden Doc Holliday. Stealing every scene he’s in and walking away with the entire film, this was the role that got Kilmer out from the shadow of Top Gun and showed him as an actor of real range and versatility. Criminally overlooked by the academy, its just a damn shame he never capitalised on his success here and unfortunately  is now to be found in various bargain basement DTV efforts.

Best Scene:  Ensconced in the local saloon and  drunk as a monkey, Holliday slurringly  trades insults (in Latin) with Michael Biehn’s Johnny Ringo, who then tries to get one over on him with a macho display of handgun twirling.  Not to be outdone, Holliday brings the house down by doing the exact same thing  – but with a whiskey cup. A cracking scene that perfectly sets up the story for the bullet riddled action to come.

  * * * * * *

9. In The Line Of Fire (1993)

Should have been nominated for: Best Actor: Clint Eastwood

For me Clint Eastwood is an actor that has just got better with everything film he appears in. Now everyone says that his greatest performance was in Unforgiven – and undoubtedly he thoroughly deserved a best actor nomination for his portrayal as the reformed outlaw and mass murderer William Munny.

In my opinion though, the film where he impressed the most was as the aging secret service agent Frank Horrigan in Wolfgang Peterson’s In The Line Of Fire.

Haunted by his past failure to save JFK  and desperate to stop John Malkovich’s chameleon alike assassin from killing the current president, Clint has never been better.  Deceptively introducing  Horrigan as a standard,  by the numbers tough guy,  Eastwood superbly reveals him as a heartbroken tortured man who just needs that one last chance to redeem himself.

Best Scene: After being told he’s off the President’s security detail, Frank recounts to fellow agent Lily Raines(Rene Russo) what happened on that fateful day in Dallas. This is, without doubt the best acting you will ever see from Eastwood – just incredible.

  * * * * * *

10. Twelve Monkeys (1995)

Should have been nominated for: Best actor: Bruce Willis

Recent efforts by Bruce Willis have been utter rubbish – Die Hard 5 and GI Joe 2 were terrible, plus he seems to be starring in more and more DTV films that never see the inside of a cinema.

However in 1996 he gave an absolutely amazing performance as unhinged convict James Cole in Terry Gilliam’s post apocalyptic time travel masterpiece.

Completely shedding his usual smirking tough guy image, Willis  effortlessly brings range, depth and subtlety to a highly complex and sympathetic character,– all qualities that he has rarely utilised in future roles he’s played.

Best Scene: In a touching moment, after kidnapping  psychiatrist Madeline Stowe, the injured Cole hears music on the radio for the first time and revels in its beauty.

 

Author: Will Strong 

 

Grosse Point Geek –  Mile 22 (2018)

Grosse Point Geek – Mile 22 (2018)

A Blog Grosse Point Geek The Blogs

Grosse Point Geek casts his critical eye over the latest (some sometimes greatest) releases… this time out: Mile 22

Director: Peter Berg
Principal Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Lauren Cohan, Iko Uwais, Rhonda Rousey, John Malkovich
Plot in a nutshell: A elite US special ops team in Indonesia are tasked with aiding in the escape of a local police officer (Iko Uwais) out of the country in exchange for the location of cache of stolen chemical weapons. Their only problem is that the airport is 22 miles away and the entire Indonesian intelligence agency are hot on their tails.
What worked: The action scenes  – gunfights, car chases, explosions, hand to hand combat – all expertly staged, extremely brutal and very exciting -especially those featuring Iko Uwais – who, frankly is a martial arts god. Its also well directed by Berg and zips along at a superb breakneck pace
What could have been better: Wahlberg is annoying and a tad  dislikeable  as the leader of the special ops team  – and seems to play these types of characters in just about every action film he ever appears in. Also director Peter Berg’s quickfire editing needed reigning in a bit, plus sticking a wig on Malkovich was a somewhat catastrophic decision by the wardrobe department.
Best scene: The hospital fight sequence – an enormous bout of fisticuffs featuring the astounding Iko Uwais versus two Indonesian government goons who have been sent to kill him.
Summary Review: Not perfect and Wahlberg badly needs a new MO – but a great action film nonetheless,  refreshingly non pc, very violent and really really entertaining.
See it at the Cinema?: Yes
Buy it on Blu Ray/DVD?: Yes


 

Author: Will Strong aka Grosse Point Geek

 

 

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Grosse Pointe Geek: Top Film Actors You Should Know But Can’t Place Them…

Grosse Pointe Geek: Top Film Actors You Should Know But Can’t Place Them…

A Blog Grosse Point Geek

You know how it goes – there you are, happily watching a film and up pops a familiar actor in some third or fourth supporting role. You’ve definitely seen him before, but no matter what you do, you absolutely cannot remember their name or what they’ve been in.

But fear not friends, where there’s a “Will” there is way – so I present to you the (unlikely to be) definitive list of the top 10 actors you should know but cant place the film you’ve seen them in:


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MV5BMTkyODgyMzMzMl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwNjM3ODgxMTE@._V1_SY317_CR51,0,214,317_Cole Hauser.

Hauser (son of DTV “star” Wings) has been around for many years, debuting in School Ties (1992) (alongside Matt Damon and Ben Affleck) and putting in very good performances in the likes of Pitch Black,  2 Fast 2 Furious (as the main bad guy) and Good Will Hunting. Never really a headline star in his own right (he had a go with the very average Paparazzi in 2004) he’s  impressed in everything I’ve seen him in – and seems to be particularly good in villainous roles.

  • Most likely to be remembered for: The drug addicted mercenary Johns in Pitch Black (2000)
  • Last wide release: Olympus Has Fallen (2013)


* * * * * * 

MV5BMTQwNDk0NjU4OV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNzIyMzYwOA@@._V1_SX214_CR0,0,214,317_Michael Biehn.

Brilliant in The Terminator, evil in Tombstone, heroic in Aliens and mad as cheese in The Abyss. Biehn was once touted as a major star, sadly some dodgy choices (The Seventh Sign, Navy SEALS to name but two) put the scuppers on that and he has mostly been in DTV nonsense like Omega Code 2 and flops such as Cherry Falls and Grindhouse. A genuinely very good actor  – he recently appeared in a smashing post apocalyptic thriller called The Divide, which I would highly recommend and is available now on DVD and Netflix.

  • Most Likely to be remembered for: Kyle Reece in James Cameron’s The Terminator (1984)
  • Last wide release: Grindhouse (2007) (The Sherriff in Robert Rodriguez’s Planet Terror)


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MV5BMTE5MTIxNTM1NV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwOTMzNjc1._V1_SY317_CR3,0,214,317_ Peter Weller

Best known for playing the cop turned cyborg in Paul Verhoeven’s  Robocop (he was also in the godawful sequel), Weller has since made the odd cinematic outing with the likes of Screamers, Naked Lunch, Woody Allen’s Mighty Aphrodite and most recently as the villainous Star Fleet Admiral Marcus in last years Star Trek: Into Darkness. The rest of his output has been DTV and its unlikely that he will ever be remembered for anything other than RoboCop – which is a real shame, as superb performances in the likes of TV’s 24 and the aforementioned Star Trek sequel showed him to be an actor of real range and versatility.

  • Most Likely to be remembered for: Alex Murphy in RoboCop(1987)
  • Last Wide Release: Star Trek Into Darkness (2013)

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MV5BMTMyODQwNDgwMF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMjgzNTg2Mw@@._V1_SY317_CR17,0,214,317_Jeff Fahey

A very prolific actor  – usually cast as the principal baddie, but far better in quiet supporting roles, Fahey made early impressions in Lawrence Kasdan’s  Silverado and Clint Eastwood’s White Hunter Black Heart.

His most famous role was as Jobe in the Lawnmower Man (1992), on the big screen he was the best thing in Grindhouse (alongside Michael Biehn -Planet Terror chapter) and had a role in 2010’s Machete, you may also have caught him in seasons 4,5 and 6 of Lost and Stephen King’s tv series -Under The Dome . Sadly, like Biehn, Fahey is damn good actor gone to waste in a lot of rubbish that got released straight to disc.

  • Most Likely to be remembered for: The Lawnmower Man (1992)
  • Last wide release: Machete (2010) playing ruthless businessman Booth.

* * * * * * 

 

MV5BMTY0NzAzMTEyOV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNjYwMzYwNg@@._V1_SY317_CR2,0,214,317_ Ron Perlman

Usually to be found under a ton of make up in films like Hellboy 1 +2 , Quest for Fire and Star Trek Nemesis, Perlman regularly works with Guillermo Del Toro, is a big fan favourite and has been fantastic in everything I’ve seen him in – especially the currently very popular TV show -Sons of Anarchy as biker gang leader Clay Morrow, he was also in Blade 2 (as Reinhardt) and the rat eating  hunchback monk in the Name of The Rose.

If those don’t ring a bell then some of you may be old enough to remember him as Vincent in the soppy Beauty and Beast series that aired in the late 80’s and early 90’s – but don’t hold that against him.

  • Most likely to remembered for: Hellboy 1 and 2/Sons of Anarchy
  • Last wide release: Pacific Rim (2013)


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MV5BMTQ2MTk3OTgwM15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwODE1OTIwMw@@._V1_SY317_CR7,0,214,317_Eric Roberts

Brother of Julia and Oscar nominee for Runaway Train (1985), able to do comedy, drama and action , he was the best thing about 1994’s The Specialist (as the thoroughly nasty son of Rod Steiger’s Miami drug king) put in a small but memorable performance as Gotham gangster Sal Maroni in The Dark Knight (2008) and was rather good as the main baddie in The Expendables (2010)

Roberts has appeared in vast amounts of films and has over fifty – (yes fifty!) –releases coming out  in 2014 alone.

  • Most Likely to remembered for: The Dark Knight and several appearances in Heroes
  • Last Wide Release: Lovelace (2014).


* * * * * * 

MV5BMTA0ODI1ODk4NzdeQTJeQWpwZ15BbWU3MDkwNjkzOTY@._V1._SX214_SY317_SY317_SX211_ Joel Edgerton

An extremely good Australian actor  – Edgerton first came to prominence as the young Owen Lars in Star Wars Episode 2: Attack Of The Clones, since then he was outstanding as the physics teacher turned cage fighter in Warrior (2011), was great in The Thing (also 2011) and appeared in last years The Great Gatsby remake alongside Leonardo DiCaprio. He also played the special forces leader in  Zero Dark Thirty and is soon to be seen as  Pharaoh in Ridley Scott’s Exodus. One to watch out for – and if you haven’t seen Warrior yet then you should be ashamed!

  • Most likely to remembered for: Warrior, Star Wars Episodes 2 and 3.
  • Last Wide Release: The Great Gatsby

 * * * * * *

MV5BMTIxODE2MTgwM15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwMjYzNTky._V1_SY317_CR33,0,214,317_ Udo Kier

A veteran of over 200 films –  Kier is another fan favourite – especially amongst the horror crowd. An occasional collaborator with the legendarily awful Uwe Boll and controversial director Lars Von Trier, you will know him  as the head vampire in Blade (1998) the German scientist who makes Michael Clarke Duncan break down in tears in Armageddon (1998) and the head of a devil worshiping coven in End Of Days (1999).

Always good value , Kier brings quality to everything he appears in.

  • Most Likely to remembered for: End Of Days and Blade.
  • Last Wide Release: Nymphomaniac (2014)

 * * * * * *

MV5BMTYxNTA2MDExOF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNDE0MDAxMw@@._V1_SX214_CR0,0,214,317_
Brad Dourif

Another journeyman actor, Dourif has appeared in everything from One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest to Alien Resurrection.  Mostly seen in weirdo or creepy bad guy roles, he is the voice of the demonic doll Chucky in the Child’s Play franchise, played Grima Wormtongue in Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers and The Return Of The King, and made appearances in Dune, Priest and Rob Zombie’s Halloween remake.

For me, though his best part was as racist, wife beating deputy sheriff, Clinton Pell in Alan Parker’s superb Mississippi Burning (1988).

One of the best films of that year, and memorable for superb performances from Gene Hackman and Willem Dafoe, Dourif excels as the grinning, smug, murderous small town cop  – and I dare anyone not cheer when Hackman’s hard as nails FBI agent finally gives him his long overdue comeuppance near the films climax (“did you smile Pell?!!”).

  • Most likely to remembered for: The Two Towers and Return of The King (Extended Edition)
  • Last wide release: Priest (2011)

 

 * * * * * *

MV5BMTQzODk4MjU1NV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMDYwNjQzMg@@._V1_SY317_CR1,0,214,317_ Michael Shannon

An established stage and screen actor  – some will remember Shannon from early appearances in forgettable guff such as Bad Boys 2, Pearl Harbour and Kangaroo Jack.

However an electrifying performance in 2012’s The Iceman,  being one of the best things about last years Man Of Steel, and a series regular on Sky Atlantic’s Boardwalk Empire (as the slightly unhinged FBI agent turned bootlegger Nelson Van Alden)  have made Shannon one of the most respected and sought after performers working today. One of those guys who can bring quality to just about anything he appears in (even Pearl Harbour) it’s fair to say Shannon is an actor destined for even more great things to come.

  • Most likely to be remembered for: Man Of Steel (as General Zod) and Boardwalk Empire.
  • Last wide release: Man of Steel (2013)

 * * * * * *

 

So that’s it  – there are many more fine actors I could have mentioned  – however the list could go on forever – but if you can catch any of the above in the films I’ve mentioned they have been in then, you will know what I’m talking about  -in addition they can all be found on Wikipedia if you want to know more about their body of work.

As an aside – if you’ve watched an actor in a film that you know you have seen before but cant remember where and its keeping it you up all night in frustration  – just send a question in to me on my blog (Grosse Pointe Geek) at ALLTHINGSFILM and I’ll try and give you the answer.

 

Grosse Point Geek: The Marvel MCU Best To Worst (to Ant-Man & The Wasp)

Grosse Point Geek: The Marvel MCU Best To Worst (to Ant-Man & The Wasp)

A Blog Grosse Point Geek The Blogs

Phil’s Quick Review’s own master blogger Grosse Point Geek takes a look at the ENTIRE Marvel MCU to rate films os far from BEST to The Incredible Hulk… get ready for a few surprises (Yes he really does rate Iron Man 3 that low!!)

Updated as and when a new film arrives…

  1. Avengers Assemble
  2.  Thor Ragnarok
  3. Guardians of The Galaxy
  4. Avengers infinity War
  5. Captain America: Winter Soldier
  6. Thor
  7. Spider-Man homecoming
  8. Iron Man
  9. Captain America: Civil War
  10. Ant man
  11. Thor The Dark World
  12. Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2
  13. Antman and The Wasp
  14. Captain America
  15. Dr Strange
  16. Iron Man 3
  17. Black Panther
  18. Avengers Age Of Ultron
  19. Iron Man 2
  20. The Incredible Hulk

 

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Grosse Point Geek – Ant-Man & The Wasp (2018)

Grosse Point Geek – Ant-Man & The Wasp (2018)

A Blog Grosse Point Geek The Blogs

Grosse Point Geek casts his critical eye over the latest (some sometimes greatest) releases… this time out: Ant-Man & The Wasp 

 

Plot in a nutshell: After the events of Captain America Civil War – Scott Lang aka Antman (Paul Rudd) is coming to the end of a 2 year house arrest and trying to start up a security business with his daft ex-jailbird mate Luis (Michael Pena), meanwhile, Hope and Van Dyne (Evangeline Lilly) and Hank Pym (Michael Douglas) are on the run from the authorities and trying to locate Pym’s long lost wife (Michelle Pfeiffer) who disappeared 30 years ago into the Quantum Realm.

What worked: Its extremely funny, in particular all the scenes featuring Michael Pena’s Luis are hilarious  plus Paul Rudd is again endearingly goofy as Lang. Lilly and Douglas are also really good and the action zips along at a rare old pace with great direction from returning helmer Peyton Reed.

What could have been better: The principal villain (Ghost) is very weak plus the plot is gossamer thin.

Best scene: The truth serum bit – very funny  – classic MCU comedy gold

Summary Review: The villain should have been so much better and the plot is too simple but its so much great fun throughout  and the cast are that good that it really doesnt matter all that much and  I for one am certainly looking forward to seeing seeing all these characters return in next years Avengers 4

Watch it at the cinema?: Yes

Buy on Blu Ray/DVD?: Yes


 

Author: Will Strong aka Grosse Point Geek

 

 

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Grosse Point Geek – Mission : Impossible – Fallout (2018)

Grosse Point Geek – Mission : Impossible – Fallout (2018)

A Blog Grosse Point Geek The Blogs

Grosse Point Geek casts his critical eye over the latest (some sometimes greatest) releases… this time out Christopher McQuarrie’s Mission : Impossible – Fallout 

Cast: Tom Cruise, Henry Cavill, Rebecca Ferguson, Simon Pegg, Ving Rhames, Sean Harris, Alec Baldwin

Director: Christopher McQuarrie

Plot in a nutshell: Its a tad complicated but the basics are as follows -when three nuclear devices go missing, its up to Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) and his IMF team to get them back before a mysterious group called The Apostles detonates the lot of them and kills millions of innocent people in the process.

What worked: In short , pretty much everything  – especially the action scenes – which are genuinely gob smacking, manage to elevate the film into a whole new stratosphere of brilliance and are made even more impressive due to the fact that Tom Cruise did all his own stunts. Yes folks that really IS him performing the halo jump out of that plane and yes it’s also him piloting that helicopter at breakneck speed in the films stunningly mental finale. Indeed one can only imagine the amount of squeaky bum time the insurance company and the producers suffered throughout filming, wondering in desperation if their utterly mad bastard of a star actor was going to make it through to the next day in one piece.

In addition, whilst the action is outstanding, one must also credit writer/director Christopher McQuarrie, who not only directs with flair and confidence but also crafts an extremely good plot that manages to twist and turn and offer up some real surprises. Its also very well acted  – Cruise, as ever exudes mega watt charisma and owns every scene he is in,  Cavill (plus the legendary King’tache) does well and shows a refreshingly different side to what we are used to when he dons the cape as Superman, Rhames is his usual cool as a cucumber self, Pegg is great fun and gets lots more to do than just act as the comedy foil, Rebecca Ferguson makes a very welcome comeback as Isla Faust and once again more than holds her own in the action stakes, plus Sean Harris returns as the completely evil Solomon Kane and proves to be the best baddie of franchise so far.

What could have been better: Not much really  –  A few one liners from Cruise wouldn’t have gone amiss perhaps – the character of Ethan Hunt can be a little too serious at times and could do with occasionally being lightened up a bit. Finally, whilst the story is really good there are a couple of plot twists that i could see coming a mile off.

Best Scene: The films climax  – a frankly amazing helicopter chase that has to be seen to be believed

Summary Review:  A proper honest to goodness blockbuster and an incredible action film to boot, extremely well made and expertly directed by Christopher McQuarrie, however to be fair its Cruise who deserves most of the praise – the guy puts in a serious shift here doing most if not all his own stunts and  giving another great performance in what is rapidly becoming his signature role.

Fantastic entertainment  -don’t miss it

Pay to see it at the cinema? – You would be mad not to

Buy on DVD/Blu Ray? – God yes

 

Author: Will Strong aka Grosse Point Geek

 

 

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Grosse Point Geek: The Top 10 Undeserved Hits

Grosse Point Geek: The Top 10 Undeserved Hits

A Blog Grosse Point Geek

There are many films I’ve  been disappointed in or been let down by in equal measure  – notable recent  criminals would be the likes of,Green Lantern, Indiana Jones 4,  After Earth and anything Michael Bay has directed.

However the problem with these and many others like them is that everyone knows they were rubbish, dismissed them out of hand and moved on to the next film.

However, there are some movies who craftily sneaked under the radar, got a pass from the critics and undeservedly made bucket loads of money at the box office. In the years to come some have even been lauded as classics, even making some people’s top ten best lists.

To say the least, this has absolutely made my blood boil, so as a large two fingered salute to all those films  that thought they could get away with it… and did – here is my list of  ten massive box office hits  that frankly should be ashamed of themselves for taking our money:

* * * * * *

1.XXX (2002)

Director: Rob Cohen

Starring Vin Diesel

Worldwide Box office: $277,488 million

After the twin successes of Pitch Black and The Fast and The Furious, Vin Diesel was on something of a roll. So someone thought it would be a good idea to reunite him with his FF director Rob Cohen and produce an action film that aimed to become a kind of anti James Bond type franchise. Putting it mildly, XXX is absolutely terrible. The script is appallingly bad, the plot contrived, the acting (especially by the generally good value Diesel) is about as wooden as it gets, Samuel L Jackson pops up in a role that is a stupid nod to 007’s M and don’t even start on the action scenes. Ah yes – the action scenes  – now don’t get me wrong, I like a good bit of escapism, but this was just ridiculous – Diesel’s deathly dull Xander Cage repeatedly manages to pull off impossible feats of derring do that even Einstein would be scratching his head at– example – pulling a jump over a 20 foot fence on a motorbike without so much as a ramp or bump in the road in sight – then doing it again in a later scene where he escapes (on another motorbike) from some Eastern European castle.  How the hell this made so much money is any ones guess  – a truly awful film that is oddly followed by a rather acceptable (non Diesel) sequel.

* * * * * *

2.Hancock (2008)

Combined Worldwide Box office

Director: Peter Berg

Starring: Will Smith

Worldwide Box Office: $624,386 million

Odd one this. A classic case  of a proper “ game of two halves” type of film. Starts out brilliantly  -with Smith as a real life but universally loathed, alcoholic superhero,  taken on by Jason Bateman’s ingenious publicity guru  to win back the hearts of his once adoring fans.  This should have been great, indeed its one standout scene where,   after a lot of coaching from Bateman, the recently sober Hancock flies in to stop a huge bank robbery, is an absolute standout, director Peter Berg, creates a fantastic build up, a smashing Superman-alike score and some great one liners from Smith. But sadly that’s it  – thereafter the film becomes a right let down, with Eddie Marsan’s rubbish villain, a disappointing plot reveal  and a climax overloaded with headache inducing CGI.  Despite the massive box office this never became a franchise  – shame really as they could have righted all the wrongs they did here in the sequel. 

* * * * * *

3.Pacific Rim (2013)

Director Guillermo Del Toro

Starring Charlie Hunnam, Idris Elba

Worldwide Box Office: $411,002 million

Now this should have worked – everything Guillermo Del Toro has directed (with the exception of Mimic) has been outstanding. His Blade 2 is one of the best sequels ever made, Hellboy and Hellboy 2 are fantastic and Pans Labyrinth is so good it defies belief. So, last summer, it was with great enthusiasm that I rushed  to my local multiplex to watch the highly talented Spaniard’s latest opus.

Unfortunately, I emerged 2 hours later with strained eyeballs, a banging headache and overcome with the kind of crashing disappointment only normally reserved for when England get dumped out of the World Cup.

Overloaded with CGI, thinly plotted, loud, over long, boring and peppered with the kind of cheesy one liners that would make even the writer of Pearl Harbour wince, Pacific Rim was, without doubt, the worst film of 2013.

Now if anyone else had directed this nonsense (i.e. Michael Bay) i would have simply forgotten it and moved on  – but the fact that it was written and  directed by a creative genius like GDT is totally and utterly unforgivable. He spends years on the Hobbit, then does a runner, wastes acres of time producing  a few sub par supernatural horror films (i.e. Mama) then chooses to make this pile of rubbish over his long cherished  adaptation of HP Lovecraft’s At The Mountains Of Madness.  Madness indeed – here’s hoping the currently filming, GDT directed Crimson Peak is a vast improvement  – well at least he has Tom Hiddleston in the cast.

* * * * * *

4.Bad Boys 2 (2003)

Director Michael Bay

Starring Will Smith, Martin Lawrence

Worldwide Box Office: $273,339 million

Recently made famous again after being mentioned  in Edgar Wrights superb Hot Fuzz, this was the inevitable sequel  to the original 1995 box office smash. Full of cheeky one liners, explosions, car chases, gun fights and all the right kind of mayhem that that made the first film so enjoyable – Bad Boys 2 should have been pretty good mindless fun– for about an hour and a half – tops.

Sadly in a fit of wanton hubris,  producer Jerry Bruckheimer and director Michael Bay decided to release it with a running time of 148 minutes – yes you read that right –its nearly 2 and half hours long!

Unbelievably, it literally just goes on and on and on, throwing in tasteless jokes about rat sex and penile dysfunction,  its  gets more  headache inducingly loud with every butt numbing minute that passes.

To say I was insulted is an understatement  – there is just no earthy reason for a film called Bad Boys 2 to be this long  and this stupid,  safe to say  – I hated this movie and by all accounts the people who made it should be confined

to the ninth circle of hell as punishment.

 * * * * * *

5.Batman Forever (1995)

Director: Joel Shumacher

Starring Val Kilmer, Jim Carrey, Tommy Lee Jones

Worldwide Box Office: $336,529

After Batman Returns (1991) director Tim Burton wisely handed over the reins to Joel Schumacher for this third entry in Warner’s first series of films featuring the Gotham City’s favourite son.

Forgoing his predecessors atmospherically dark style, Schumacher, in his wisdom, had the brilliant idea to bring in  loud neon colours, utterly  stupid villains and a very dull Val Kilmer as Batman.

Audiences, and critics alike,  not yet schooled in proper superhero films (done by talented directors like Chris Nolan and Joss Whedon)  – lapped it up in spades and turned this monstrosity into a sizable hit   – which was then followed up in 1997, by the staggeringly bad Schumacher helmed  fourth film in the Bat saga ,whose name I shall not utter here.

Just to prove my point  – watch it again (or rather don’t)and look on in horror at Tommy Lee Jones’   career worst performance as Two Face – screaming, shouting and gurning for all his worth,   Elliot Goldenthal’s appallinglypantomime score, the plot less “story” or worse still the lame “action” scenes that go nowhere and  smack of PG-13 baiting desperation.

To be honest – its my theory that due to the 4th film being so bad , Batman Forever has just been forgotten in the mists of time and thus dodged a bullet –how in the hell Warner’s got it so wrong for so long is a mystery that will never be solved –  just thank God and Mammon for Chris Nolan.

* * * * *

6.The Other Guys (2010)

Director: Adam McKay

Starring Will Ferrell, Mark Wahlberg

Worldwide Box Office: $222,914 million

Another enormous hit, audiences flocked to see Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg “comically” bickering and prat falling  through a stupid plot that had something to do with Steve Coogan’s equally awful corporate baddie. It is a rarity that I feel the urge to turn off a film and chuck the  disc out the window  – but I came mighty close with this one. Many people will disagree with me here, as it was very popular with audiences  and fairly  well received by the critics. Possibly its because I generally don’t like comedies, maybe its because I have never liked Will Ferrell that much – or maybe its because a film that contains 2 hours worth of painfully  unfunny jokes plus The Rock and Samuel L Jackson leaping to their deaths for no apparent reason just doesn’t do it for me  – go figure.

* * * * * *

7. 2012 (2009)

Director: Roland Emmerich

Starring John Cusack

Worldwide Box office: $769,679 million

Roland Emmerich like to destroy things  – he blew up  New York in Independence Day, froze half of America to death  in The Day After Tomorrow and bombed Washington in White House Down.

However with 2012 he went the whole hog by setting the entire earth on fire in a  blazing  orgy of CGI glory.

Now this film would have been just about forgivable had it not been for a few minor quibbles. Chiefly the fact that someone somewhere should have A. written a half decent, non vomit inducing script (“look, no pull ups Daddy!”) B. advised John Cusack to avoid being cast in this debacle as if his life depended on it and C. Informed dear old Roland that he was unashamedly and unapologetically ripping off the entire  movie going public by craftily remaking The Day After Tomorrow  and hoping to God that no one would notice. And to be fair he got away with it!!  This pile of cheese covered, plotless, over blown celluloid excrement made over three quarters of a billion dollars at the box office – and no one knows why!! – You couldn’t make it up.

 

* * * * * *

8. The Fifth Element (1997)

Director: Luc Besson

Starring Bruce Willis

Worldwide Box office: $263,920 million

I vividly remember being really excited about this one  – the trailer looked great, the reviews weren’t bad and it had been a big hit in the US. Since its release I’ve heard  all manner of people reminiscing on  what a great inventive film it was, how many awards it won, praising the wonderful set design etc etc. Pish I say! Had said adoring fans gone back for a second look they would have noticed a few gaping issues that would have most certainly put paid to their misguided adoration of this woeful piece of sci fi dreck.

For a start its tonally all wrong, in parts playing like a screwball comedy and injected with a streak of very unfunny humour. Now I like a laugh as much as the next geek, sci fi’s can of course be very humorous and clever with it (See Star Trek/ Star Wars etc) but not juvenile bordering on pantomime as seen here. Then there’s the plot –at its core it had potential – drawing inspiration from  Chariots Of The Gods, and featuring alien warriors, space battles and cool weaponry – its let down time and again  by the stupid humour, daft acting, Milla Jojovich babbling incoherent nonsense and Bruce Willis’s bland lead.

This isn’t the worst of it however  – indeed the mere thought of him chills me to the marrow and freezes the blood – that’s right folks, its the abomination that is Chris Tucker as intergalactic DJ Ruby Rhod. Blonde of wig, screechy of voice, killer of film and so achingly unfunny it hurts.  By far and away one of the worst movie sidekicks in living memory  – it was only until the lamentable Jar Jar  came along in Phantom Menace that Tucker’s unsurpassed screen atrocity could finally be forgotten. In short it was he who utterly ruined the Fifth Element  – one can only wonder wistfully how better it would have been had he not been in it. Luc Besson –go forth into the street and  hold your head in shame, Chris Tucker – just go forth into the street.

 * * * * * *

9. The Sixth Sense (1999)

Director: M Night Shyalaman

Starring Bruce Willis

World Wide Box Office: $672,806 million

*SPOILER ALERT!*

Now when I saw this film I simply could not fathom what all the fuss was about. It was a gigantic sleeper hit, everyone kept banging on how good the creepy plot was, and screaming from the rooftops about the  incredible twist ending. Not to take away anything from it –the Sixth Sense is a good film, well made, skilfully directed and superbly acted  – indeed I will applaud any director who can get a half decent performance from Bruce Willis.

But what frustrated me the most was two things .

Firstly the twist –  by now anyone who has seen the film (and there aren’t many that haven’t) the big reveal at the end  is that Willis’s character –Dr Malcolm Crowe  -is in fact dead and has been the whole way through. Ok fair enough, good twist, didn’t see it coming, nicely played Mr Shyalaman.  But a twist that resulted in nearly $700 million dollars of worldwide box office????!!!

Am I alone in thinking said twist  wasn’t THAT amazing?  The studio must have thought its dreams had come true  – cinema audiences really were utterly gullible and incredibly easily pleased! Beggars belief.

Finally  – and this is the one that gets me the most – is the quite staggering plot hole that not one person seems to have noticed. Namely the fact that, all the way through, whenever Haley Joel Osment’s character feels ghosts nearby or simply just sees them – he gets freezing cold and you can see his breath. So why the hell doesn’t this happen when he’s around Bruce Willis??? Who as we know from the film’s climax ,has been pushing up the daisies for the entire film! Frankly I blame George Lucas –that year audiences were probably so mind bogglingly traumatised by the cataclysmic let down that was The Phantom Menace, they just didn’t notice  and simply  bought any old story with a hint of shock value simply to numb the pain.

 * * * * * *

10. Braveheart (1995)

Director: Mel Gibson

Starring Mel Gibson

Worldwide box office: $210,409 million

When I first saw Braveheart I really liked it – fast, furious, at times funny and featuring two of the most realistic  battle scenes id ever seen. Audiences and critics loved it and as a  result it scored massive box office returns and – count em  –  ten academy awards – including best picture.

Over the course of the last few years I’ve probably re-watched Braveheart about eight times and as a result I have come to an  inescapable fact – chiefly that It’s the most hideously overrated and most undeserving best picture winner in the history of cinema .

The choice reasons for this are as follows:

Huge historical liberties.  To name four examples: A. the Scots didn’t wear kilts until 500 hundred years after the events of the film, B. Scottish warriors painting their faces with blue woad hadn’t been seen on a  battlefield for over a millennia, C. King Edward The Longshanks (Patrick McGoohan) didn’t die until 2 years after Wallace was executed,  D. as for the laughable storyline of Wallace having an affair with Princess Isabella (the then Princess of Wales) and siring a Scottish heir to the English throne – in real life  they never even met, and  at the time of Wallace’s revolution, she was still safely ensconced in France!

Rubbish background extras  – rightly pointed out in a past issue of Empire – at the end of the film’s first major battle (Sterling), Gibson’s Wallace has just lopped off the head of one of the main English officers in charge and  the Scots are understandably triumphant after giving the English a severe kicking – but look carefully in the background  – laughably, several extras, who obviously haven’t heard “Cut!” are still really really badly pretending to fight each other!

Comedy wobbly Axe –At the films conclusion,  what remains of Wallace’s army gathers to pay homage to the English, then in a final act of defiance, Angus Macfayden’s Robert The Bruce says the immortal words “You have bled with Wallace – now bleed with me!”. Cue slo mo final shot of the Scots brandishing their weapons,  howling like banshees and charging at the opposition. Now this would have been a great ending – save for the fact that someone gave actor  Brendan Gleeson a massive rubber axe that wobbles horribly  every time his feet hit the ground – how the hell they missed that one in the editing suite is anyone’s guess!

Overacting: Funny how it won ten Oscars but didn’t garner one nomination for its actors. Probably because the entire cast  incessantly shout and rant, Gibson annoyingly rolls his r’s whenever he speaks and  everyone (Gibson included) seems to ham it up at any given opportunity. To be honest the only one that gets out unscathed is Patrick McGoohan  – who is genuinely terrifying as the thoroughly evil King Edward The Longshanks.

Another film that got away with murder– perhaps I’m being cynical  but maybe Mel’s recent legal issues and subsequent career nosedive is karma for undeservedly winning all those awards and making so much money off it.

 

That’s it then, rant over, remember its only my opinion and unlike Messer’s Gibson, Shyalaman and Emmerich, perhaps if I had the talent to make a successful film perhaps I should have done it by now – then again  – I did part with my hard earned money to watch all of the above so I reckon I’m entitled to have my say.

Will Strong

 

Will Strong