Alita: Battle Angel (2019): Review by Grosse Point Geek

Alita: Battle Angel (2019): Review by Grosse Point Geek

A Blog
Plot In a nutshell: Hundreds of years after a devastating world war known as ‘The Fall’, the remnants of humanity live in a sprawling metropolis called Iron City whilst the privileged occupy the floating paradise of Zalem. Sorting through a junkyard, a scientist (Christoph Waltz) finds a half intact female cyborg (Rosa Salazar) who he reassembles and calls Alita after his dead daughter. At first Alita has no memories of her past life but after a series of violent flashbacks it soon becomes apparent that she is a highly trained killer, skilled in an ancient form of martial arts and has been built solely for the purpose of war.
What worked: Its not the worst film ever made, the special effects used to create Alita are good, the production values aren’t bad, its well acted and some of the action is ok.
What Could have been better: Just about everything else. The script is a cheesefest of epic proportions, apart from Christoph Waltz, i couldn’t of cared less about any of the characters who are a combination of just about every cliche in the book, most of the action scenes are boring and unexciting (the exception being a pretty good bar scrap) theres way way too much CGI and at two hours its at least 20 minutes too long. Worst of all the plot goes absolutely no where and is nothing more than a cobbled together rip off of far better films  – just about everything appears to have been thrown in here from Rollerball, Elysium, Ready Player One, the Divergent series, the Terminator, Dredd etc  – and not in a good way. Finally everyone’s favorite cheapo hack Robert Rodriguez directs with zero flair and seems completely out of his depth.
Review Summary: Producer and screenwriter James Cameron has been trying to get this film made for years and frankly shouldn’t have bothered, Alita is nothing more than a bloated, deeply unoriginal load of old crap that has zero chance of becoming a franchise and the studio who bankrolled it should have bloody well known better. Why on earth they would give Robert Rodriguez a £200 million budget to make this  nonsense is beyond me, the man is a pretentious hack, who just recycles his own moribund product time and again and hasnt had a hit film since Sin City in 2005. As for James Cameron, i for one am losing patience very quickly with him. Yes he has made two of the most successful films in history (Titanic and Avatar) but that doesn’t give him the right disappear off the radar for nine years and then heft this rubbish onto unsuspecting audiences. All i can say is that his now shooting Avatar sequels had better be something pretty damned awesome for him to get back into my good books.
Cinematic smegma of almighty proportions – avoid.
Pay to see it at the cinemas: No
Buy it on Blu Ray/DVD: No

 

 

 

 


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Motion Picture Maniac’s Guide To Picking A Favourite Movie

Motion Picture Maniac’s Guide To Picking A Favourite Movie

A Blog

Dust off your DVD’s and prepare your Ludovico eye drops because you and I, together and holding hands the whole way through, are gonna solve the answer to that itchy personal question many unfortunate film buffs live with and suffer daily; twisting their skulls and scratching their brains like a schizophrenic gorilla trying to make the voices stop every time some ill informed passerby asks: so you’re a film buff eh? What’s your favourite movie then?

Do you have trouble choosing from the hundreds (if not thousands) of films you’ve seen? Do you have a list of personal bests from which you wish to pick one out, like a top 10, 20 or 50, but don’t know which one to go with? Let these feelings of incompleteness bother you no longer fellow film nuts as you’ve come to the right place, read forth what lies before you and you just might be able to pluck your all time favourite from the ocean of films drowning your mind and salting your eyes red raw.

Note: Unless told otherwise, every answer to the following should be a “yes” in order for the subject to qualify for the holy position, if any “no’s” come along then the candidate is caput and it’s time to start over with a new and different choice; let’s begin!

Do you, without question, love every single scene and every single shot; not being able to live without even one if it were removed?

Is there absolutely nothing about it you dislike, do you even enjoy its visible mistakes in an endearing sense?

Would you highly praise every single one of its filmic elements: acting, cinematography, narrative, style, editing etc.?

Do you feel better after watching it, would you say it’s good for your soul; regardless of how dark/depressing the film is intended to be?

Have you or could you watch it in excess of 200 times without getting bored, and watch it a further 200 times after that? (An impressive feat right there!)

Are you unhealthily obsessed with it even when you’re not watching it? Does it pop into your mind at the worst possible moment like porn does with teenaged dickheads.

When it is over, is your first instinct to hit the replay button without a moment’s hesitation? Everyone knows a favourite film should take priority over a personal life.

Do you and this potential candidate have a long history together? Have you loved it since childhood for example? A solid “yes” is not required but it can help if you’ve been watching it again and again for that long.

Do you know all the dialogue off by heart? In fact – do you have the entire film itself committed to memory? A sad admission but hey, we’re all friends here.

Are you well versed in its behind-the-scenes making?

Does it contain a message or themes you fundamentally agree with on a very personal level? I myself am partial to movies with a message pertaining to how much the human race irredeemably SUCKS!

Does it also apply to your own personal tastes on a surface level? Does it do things you just happen to like aesthetically; without really mattering too much to the story but never the less tickle you?

If a significant other hated it, would you end the relationship? (What was it I said about priorities?)

Do you even enjoy watching the end credits?

Is your favourite part the bit between opening up the DVD box and hitting replay after watching the whole thing? Har har har!

(These next few are for protection against the disapproving “um, OK then…” you may hear from the more elite type of film snob, you’ll know what I mean in a second)

Is more than ten years old? Better yet, was it made before the turn of the 21st century? (This is probably the most unfair requirement but apparently, if it isn’t, then it is taken less seriously for some reason; ever notice that?)

Is it actually considered good by most other people as well? If not, does it at least have a dedicated following or reputation for still being watchable; despite a negative reception on paper?

Would the non-film buff every man understand your choice if you told him? If yes, then great, if no, it matters as much as his inferior opinion, just ignore him, you can say no for this one; please do continue.

Finally, are the chances of you ever changing your mind slim to never? Tell a film snob your favourite film has been so for 15 years and watch their eyes widen with respect for your seriousness for film buff-ism.

Ok that’s it, that’s all I got, if this has helped you find your ultimate choice for best movie ever then great, fantastic even, if not then… really? Wow, tough crowd, worse still – if the choice all of these questions brought you to is something like Transformers 5 then… then… oh who am I kidding, more power to ya, who am I to judge? That being said, please tell me it was something else!

 


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Holmes & Watson (2018): Review by Motion Picture Maniac

Holmes & Watson (2018): Review by Motion Picture Maniac

A Blog

First order of business for the new year, go see Holmes & Watson and try not to bang my head on the nearest hard surface. I strained and pushed and maybe even exhausted-to-death every brain cell at my disposal (all two of them) trying to keep out all of the apparently legend making negative feedback this film had received during the week before my viewing, in my efforts to at least look like a professional I didn’t want my expectations jeopardised by the bandwagon, something I’ve taken a real disliking to over the years due to all the good films damned by such bystander mentality. I denied myself any and all expectations, opened up my mind and braced for whatever was about to come through gates to face me on the battlefield.

Alas the ever untrustworthy voice of the internet has proved itself a boy who cried wolf that is now speaking the truth. Holmes & Watson is an unfunny career ending cringe fest stuffed like an ancient Rome era torture victim being force fed wine with facepalm inducing jokes, hideous performances, characters you want to strangle to death, continuity errors so bad it gives the cast the power to teleport, sound design not even worthy of an English dub of a foreign film and a script so full of bad choices it may as well have just been a list of every opportunity for success you personally missed throughout your whole life because it induces the same level of misery.

The actors at work here are not actually acting, they’re goofing around with line delivery being completely incidental to the complete and total faffing about on display. It almost makes me want to buy the eventual DVD in the hopes it will contain behind-the-scenes footage of just what direction everybody was given to achieve such embarrassment because I just gots to know. I’m serious, what the hell was going on during the making of this thing, what did the set look like – the finale of the Susperia remake? Various big names show up from time to time to humiliate themselves, Kelly MacDonald looks like she can’t wait to get it over with and just go home, Ralph Fiennes appears literally paid to stand there given how few lines he has and Steve Coogan? Well, let’s just say his character’s, spoiler alert, DEATH neatly mirrors what his agent has just done to him in real life.

This is a comedy with no laughs, I chuckled ever so slightly at a captioned quote that opens the film because of who it’s credited to but every single joke that comes along afterwards is just embarrassing to give attention to. I wasn’t just sat there being grumpy, I wanted to laugh, I prayed for at least just one gag to set me off but no, the chosen saviour never showed up; my funny bone was un-molested the entire time! Just prancing about, putting on a stupid voice, hurting yourself and others, literally smearing shit on somebody and generally acting like a tit is not comedy, it is not the exact chemistry required to bring forth the laughs, I could do it right now while writing this review, hang on… there, I just stopped typing for a minute to do my best impression of Donald Trump having a sexual encounter with the John Carpenter THING and an epileptic walrus, you couldn’t see it but believe me – it wasn’t funny.

Speaking of Donal Trump, good grief, the jokes about him just keep on truckin’, not that I’m against making fun of that fucking idiot but the jokes Holmes & Watson offers up go very little beyond hey, you know who we’re talking about? Yes, hardy-har-har, a hat that says make England great again, a dialogue exchange about how democracy is intended to prevent evil selfish businessmen from taking power over the people; I wanted to laugh but all I did was cry in the end. Story beats are all familiar and typical of a cheap throwaway comedy like this, the editor should be absolutely ashamed, saying that: the whole cast should be ashamed too, that selfie joke in the trailer was just as brain pulverising in the actual film and those Titanic jokes… yeah, I personally can’t stand people who are easily offended these days, especially by simple jokes, but these were… um… yeah… I think that’s an indication to wrap up so Holmes & Watson, nothing says poster quote like “a comedy that isn’t funny, full of heroes you wish with all your heart were dead”.

Not the worst film I’ve ever seen, it’s runtime did manage to pass along quickly enough, it’s 90 minutes did not feel like 90 hours as some others have done in the past but I’ll be damned to my rightful place in hell much sooner than I’d prefer if this doesn’t earn a 1/10 just for sheer annoyance.

 

Author: Motion Picture Maniac  

 


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Rated: Marvel Cinematic Universe (up to Ant Man & The Wasp)

Rated: Marvel Cinematic Universe (up to Ant Man & The Wasp)

A Blog

RATED looks at EVERY Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) film and gives a QuickReview as well as putting them in order of BEST to Iron Man 2.!  Updated as and when a new Marvel (Studios) film is released…

(Note scores reflect my original IMDB ratings)


Best: Captain America Winter Solider

A cold war thriller with Robert Redford and a mini Avengers team up.  Add in the always awesome Frank Grillo and a genuinely interesting script and you have Marvel’s strongest cinematic outing.

——

2. Guardians Of The Galaxy

Massively far out of Marvel’s usual comfort zone, Guardian’s introduced spaceships, talking racoons and a giant tree person. Cracking script, expert action and a heap of fun.

——

3. Iron Man 3

The Iron Man film that broke a lot of Marvel fans, Shane Black took the playbook and ripped it up.  Twists, turns and a cute central relationships made this a different take on the norm and was all the better for it.

——

4. Thor: Ragnarok

Well this was a bundle of fun.  The previous Thor films have been okay but Ragnarok delivered a brilliant romp which dragged in The Hulk, a handful of memorable new characters (Korg!)  and some great set pieces to end up being one of Marvel’s best films yet.

 ——

5. Marvel’s The Avengers 

All the groundwork paid off as Marvel delivered it’s first ever super hero team up.  The Hulk was back (and done right this time), Hawkeye and Black Widow joined the team and director Joss Whedon delivered the goods.

——

6. Spider-Man Homecoming 

Funny, charming, with Marvels best villain and best Spiderman (yup sorry Andrew Garfield) Homecoming is a joy of a film that is by far the closest to what the comic book Peter Parker is.

——

7. Avengers: Infinity War

Shocking, well paced and with one of Marvel’s greatest screen villains Avengers Infinity War ALMOST delivered on it’s considerable promise.  Almost.

——

 

8. Iron Man

The Film that started it all… Iron Man was a rock n roll action movie with an unlikely lead, an even more unlikely director and enough balls out moments to wow.

——

9. Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2

Loud, silly and funny as heck, Vol. 2 isn’t quite the tight film that it’s 2014 original is but it’s a hell of a lot of fun.  Add in an amazing cast (including Stallone, Hasselhoff and Russell) and you have another winner from Marvel…

——

10. Ant-Man

Ant-Man is a heist movie. With Ants.  And fights on toy trains.  It’s crazy but it’s also full of charm, humour and fun.

——

11. Black Panther 

Black Panther takes a different approach to the usual Marvel film, yet falls into a lot of the same traps of relying a bit too much on visual effects at times.  That said it’s one of Marvel’s most intimate stories and whilst not perfect is a really strong entry into the increasingly bigger MCU.

——

12. Ant-Man & The Wasp

Ant-Man & The Wasp is GREAT fun.  It’s also totally forgettable and delivers what is possibly Marvel’s weakest villain to date.  Not bad by any stretch just off pace of the original.

——

13. Doctor Strange

Off the big screen Doctor Strange looses a little but this visually stunning film shows that marvel are still interested in pushing the envelope as far as you can in mainstream blockbusters.

——

14. Captain America: The First Avenger 

Solid, fun and well done, whilst it has little rewatch appeal Captain America again took a different approach and gave us a couple of Marvel’s most enduring characters.

——

15. Captain America: Civil War

It’s not bad.  It just didn’t gel with me as much as it did others. Don’t get me wrong there’s a lot to like and again it plays with the expected formula, but ultimately i’m just not that keen to go back to it.

——

16. Thor: The Dark World

I liked The Dark world MUCH more than others.  Okay so it’s flawed for sure but it’s crazy fun.

——

17. Thor

Thor was a sold film, tasked with the near impossible job of making a god fit in a world of men.  It does it well but not one you’ll rewatch much.

——

18. Avengers Age Of Ultron

Marvel’s first disappointment, Age Of Ultron was all show and little else.  Too big, too dumb and too long.

——

 

19. The Incredible Hulk (2008)

It has charm and the casting works well but ultimately The Incredible Hulk (whilst FAR better than the Ang Lee version) just doesn’t have enough to recommend it.

——

 

Worst : Iron Man 2

The idea was fine but sadly most of the film misses.  Even Mickey Rourke (yes one of the oddest Marvel villains ever) can’t save this.

 


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Motion Picture Maniac’s Review of 2018

Motion Picture Maniac’s Review of 2018

A Blog

Another ghastly year on this spherical clump of crap we call a planet closes up shop while we all desperately try not to think about how quickly it said it’s bye-byes and left without finishing its coffee, further making us dread how fast the rest of our lives could very well cut to credits as inspired by Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Anyway enough sunshine and lolly pops, here’s my roundup of 2018, as if it’s a year for film we actually want to look back on but what can I do?

I mean this was a dull one wasn’t it? How many of the year’s most anticipated like Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom left everyone with little more than a shrug, in fact I’ll go even further, you wanna know how bad this year was? I didn’t have any room for Fifty Shades Freed even on my dishonourable mentions! The infamous leather-clad climax of boring McMimzie girl’s dumbass relationship with abusive-o billionaire managed to escape via human shields with the films I felt were somehow WORSE.

Let’s start with the favourites:

 


Top Ten Best

Aquaman
Silly and stupid can often mean good just as much as bad, and there are different spectrums for every type of filmic goodness, point being: if deliberately stupid and bonkers popcorn entertainment could a masterpiece in its own right – Aquaman would be it; well done DCEU, I liked you before you were cool.

Assassination Nation
Not a pleasant movie to watch at times, but on top of simply being aligned with my own personal taste for trippy weirdness, any film that’s truthful and direct about how stupid masses of human beings can be and how irredeemably amoral we are as a species is ok by me.

Susperia
You want to know something, I actually rather liked this more than the original, sure there’s some stuff that didn’t need to be there story-wise but the filmmaking on display here just tickled me pink, every shot you see exists one helluva freaky personality, the style rocked and there’s plenty of scenes I think I’m going to remember for a long time; and that last act… oh my heavens!

Deadpool 2
This movie is so… damn… funny! It’s pretty well made too, so from my perspective it only did its job well and then some, a successful exercise in classy tastelessness that brought forth the filth without forgetting to have a heart for cuteness sake.

Mandy
What did I say about films aligned with my own personal taste for trippy weirdness? What it has appeared to be a good year for seems to be the crazy ones, the bonkers beasts, the hallucinogenic journeys into the unknown and Mandy ticked all those boxes, Nic Cage back to what he’s good at; please tell me this is only the beginning.

First man
Im not surprised that, in today’s political climate, a film that doesn’t explicitly show a flag being planted into the moon gets labelled “unpatriotic” by attention seeking shoulda-been-abortions, but who cares about them, this was one of the most powerful and engaging and extremely well made/best looking movies of the year, seriously, this is the best Neil Armstrong movie that could be made.

A Quiet Place
Wasn’t a bad year for horror either now that I think about it, nice to have it back, boasting a premise so good it almost should’ve been disappointing (this is not a perfect world after all) A Quiet Place beat multiple odds and executed, not just its brilliant gimmick, but just plain good filmmaking, almost like Krazinski himself suffered the epidemic of bad horror films these past few years and took it upon himself to make things right, I wonder what he’ll do next.

Isle of dogs
Before seeing the next two this was my pick for film of the year for a while, talk about the style being the same as the substance, just like Deadpool this film earns its place by simply doing its job really well, a job other films prove doing so is rather tricky, it’s both well made and really-really funny, yes Mr Anderson, I do indeed love dogs, also the animation, the jokes and a million other things.

Blackkklansman
I’ll just say it, Spike Lee sounds like a bit of a dick, but this joint just rules, not only is it nostalgically stylish and thought provoking beyond preparation but it couldn’t have come out at a better time, when there’s a childish racist KKK defending fat loser (don’t deny it) in the Whitehouse the cockroaches feel safe coming out from under their rocks to go public with their backwards-as-hell views and it’s up to films like this to shock the rest of us with brains into maybe doing something about it.

The miseducation Of Cameron Post
And what an absolute gem this is, winning the top prize as my pick for film of 2018 not just for being the best film, I think, both functionally and aesthetically but because of its success in executing a theme very important to me personally, modern religion rarely proves itself anything more than a blatantly irrational imaginary right to oppress the current minority group of the day! It was used to argue for slavery once upon a time, against interracial marriage after that and now they’re calling for the gays to either convert or die; it’s up to tear jerking and wonderfully heart warming movies like this to slap those backwards fools in the face so we can maybe start working harder towards greater worldly empathy among humankind – not that fundamentalists know anything about empathy, kindness or morality but oh well.

Honourable mentions that didn’t make the cut:

Creed 2
Mission Impossible: Fallout
Widows
Avengers: Infinity War
A Star Is Born
The Old Man And The Gun
Christopher Robin
Sicario 2: Soldado
Tully
Black Panther

Notable Netflix Release:

Annihilation (I didn’t love Roma as much as everyone else it seems)

Best films that came out in 2018 but IMDB counts as 2017 releases for some reason:

The Shape Of Water
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri
Lady Bird
You Were Never Really Here
I, Tonya
Revenge
Phantom Thread
Brawl In Cell Block 99
First They Killed My Father

Best Trailers For 2018 Releases:

Aquaman Final Trailer
Sicario 2 First Teaser & Third Trailer
Creed 2 Second Trailer
Mission Impossible: Fallout Official Trailer
Deadpool 2 Final Trailer
Widows Trailer
A Quiet Place Teaser
Black Panther Official Trailer
Isle Of Dogs Official Trailer

 

Most Anticipated Film Of 2019

 

Godzilla: King Of The Monsters

 

Favourite Quotes:

 

Aquaman: “Dad”? That’s your kid? – shame on you.

Isle Of Dogs: To the north, a long rickety causeway over a noxious sludge marsh leading to a radioactive landfill polluted by toxic chemical garbage, that’s our destination, get ready to jump.

Creed 2: Is good picture.

Avengers: You should have gone for the head.

Deadpool 2: Scout master Kevin?

Ready Player One: it’s fucking Chucky!

Blockers: these aren’t made for comfort, they’re made for speed.

Susperia: They’ll hollow me out and eat my cunt on a plate.

Christopher Robin: People say nothing is impossible but I do nothing every day.

Rampage: Of course the wolf flies.

Notable Scenes:

Sicario 2: Different way to fire a gun.

Game Night: Amateur Bullet Removal.

Aquaman: Arthur vs Orm 2nd round.

Creed 2: Drago embraces his son.

Bohemian Rhapsody: Live Aid.

Infinity War: “I don’t want to go”.

A star Is Born: first duet.

Fallout: Tom breaks his foot.

First Man: Spinning out of control.

Deadpool 2: opening credits.

Black Klansman: Charlottesville footage.

A Quiet Place: Cut to Black.

Solo: Darth Maul.

Susperia: Dance the twist.

Annihilation: Bear.

Brawl In Cell Block 99: Face stomp.

Revenge: Glass removal.

Phantom Thread: “Where is Cyril”?

Now for the other end of the spectrum, the least fun half of an end of year review, the worst films of 2018, the cinematic experiences that make me question just what the hell I’m doing with my short time alive, but never mind, here they are; brace for impact!

 

Top Ten Worst

Proud Mary
Talk about televisual, generic and boring!

Teen titans go to the movies
Heard it wasn’t that bad, it wasn’t, it was so much worse, the image of a twerking naked baby Superman will haunt me for years.

Winchester
There’s a shot of the haunted mansion made entirely of CGI that starts as an unmoving frozen frame for a split second, now that’s lazy.

Dog days
Romantic ensemble comedy with dogs, could be funny, could also be agonisingly dull and unoriginal.

Breaking in
How far the director of V For Vendetta has fallen, when characters in a life or death situation start saying “freaking” but their lip movement say a different four letter word – you know you don’t care.

Walk like a panther
Similar filmmaking standards to Pudsey The Dog… I am in hell.

The nutcracker and the four realms
The poor guy playing the title role will never work again if this is the best he can do, one of the few movies I’ve fallen asleep watching.

A wrinkle in time
I expected better of Ava Duvernay, also a movie less awkward, embarrassing and horribly acted but we all want things we can’t have, what an absolute cringe this thing is.

The Necromancer
The pieces of camcorder crap I made at college were better than this, I understand the plight of the no budget filmmaker, but no money is no excuse for no effort, or the inclusion of every dialogue cliche that ever existed – EVER!

Show dogs
It was either gonna be The Necromancer or this, but Show Dogs won out because at least Necromancer isn’t a kids film containing a running gag about learning not to bite a guy whose job it is to fondle your genitals, that’s right kids, if someone wants to touch your bits then you should let them without complaint, would be bad enough just being one of the worst made films in existence but no, they had to go the extra mile into the inferno.

 

Dishonourable mentions

 

Death wish
The strangers prey at night
The guernsey literary and potato peel pie…
Hell fest
The predator
Status update
The possession of Hannah grace
Truth or dare
Night school
Johnny English strikes again

 

Biggest disappointment I was actually looking forward to:

 

15:17 To Paris

And I suppose that’s it, so – Merry Christmas and all things in between, happy new year and see you in hell.

 


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Grosse Point Geek’s 2018 In Review

Grosse Point Geek’s 2018 In Review

A Blog Year In Review

Each year Will and Phil compare notes on their favourite and least favourite films of 2018… here’s Will’s look at what’s been and what he’s most looking forward to in 2019.

 

Top Ten Best:

 

  1. Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri (just superb – loved it)
  2. First Man (brilliantly directed and the moon landing sequence was brilliant)
  3. The Darkest Hour (had me in tears)
  4. Mission Impossible Fallout (a genuine summer blockbuster, featuring a proper movie star doing his own stunts and the kind of balls to the wall action scenes we have haven’t seen in years)
  5. BlackKKKLansman (funny and brilliant – I usually don’t like Spike Lee but this was incredibly good)
  6. Bohemian Rhapsody (Rami Malik’s performance was incredible and the Live Aid concert re-enactment at the end was gobsmacking)
  7. Avengers Infinity War – (exciting, fast paced, funny, great action, a cracking villain and THAT ending – roll on Avengers Endgame)
  8. A Star Is Born (a trio of incredible performances  – Lady Gaga was a revelation, Coopers acting and direction were brilliant plus Sam Elliott was astounding)
  9. Creed 2 (not as good as Creed or Rocky Balboa – but still great and had lots of heart)
  10. 12 Strong – balls to the wall action, great story, v well-acted

 

 

Top Ten Honouree mentions

 

  1. Deadpool 2 (v funny and extremely clever in parts)
  2. A Quiet Place –  (tense and scary  – a great directorial debut from John Krasinski)
  3. Hunter Killer (ridiculous but really great fun with a smashing performance from Gerard Butler)
  4. Ant Man and The Wasp (not Marvels best but I really liked it)
  5. The Meg (complete nonsense but a good laugh)
  6. Rampage (utterly insane but top drawer entertainment)
  7. Skyscraper (a Die Hard clone but who cares when its this much fun?)
  8. Mile 22 (I must be the only person on the planet who liked this one!)
  9. Mamma Mia 2 (a genuinely lovely film that had heart and soul and wanted nothing more than to entertain and have people leave the cinema with a big smile on their faces)
  10. Outlaw King (well made, top final battle and a great turn from Chris Pine)

 

Top Ten Worst

 

  1. Death Wish (terrible terrible terrible.  Bruce  – you obviously can’t be bothered anymore so either start putting in the effort or do us all a favour and give it up)
  2. Red Sparrow (what should have a been a balls to the wall action caper turned out to be nothing more than catastrophically over long and boring as all hell)
  3. Pacific Rim Uprising (not as bad as the first one but still rubbish)
  4. Equalizer 2 (utter pants, dull and completely pretentious to boot)
  5. Love Simon (I liked the message it was trying to give but hated the way it did it)
  6. Ladybird (yes I know it was loved by the critics but I HATED this film with a vengeance!)
  7. Fantastic Beasts The Crimes of Grindelwald (so boring I nearly fell asleep- this franchise needs a new director – fast)
  8. Ghost Stories (complete bilge and made no sense)
  9. 15:17 To Paris (now this was awful – Clint we love you but dear God mate what were you thinking?????)
  10. Mortal Engines (not the worst film I’ve ever seen and certainly gets an ‘A’ for effort but this just didn’t work at all)

 

 

Biggest Letdown:

 

The Predator  – someone PLEASE tell Shane Black that he isn’t as good as he obviously thinks he is  -also somebody please explain to me how in the hell they managed to blow this one????

 

2019 Most anticipated:

 

  1. Avengers: Endgame
  2. Star Wars Episode IX
  3. Rambo: The Last Blood (yeah I said it!)
  4. Angel Has Fallen (yeah Hobden you read it right -I said that too!)
  5. Captain Marvel
  6. Glass
  7. Godzilla King Of The Monsters
  8. Hellboy
  9. Spiderman: Far From Home
  10. Captive State
  11. Brightburn
  12. Hobbs and Shaw
  13. The New Mutants
  14. X-Men Dark Phoenix
  15. Fighting With My Family

 

See you next year!

 

Author: Will Strong 

 


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Ross And Phil Talk Movies… Now On Spotify!

Ross And Phil Talk Movies… Now On Spotify!

A Blog

That’s right Ross And Phil Talk Movies is now available on the worlds largest streaming platform… yup we are on Spotify!  So as well as TuneIn, Stitcher and Apple Podcasts you can now stream us!

Find us at: https://spoti.fi/2GPW4QW or just search ‘Ross And Phil Talk Movies’ on Spotify!

Enjoy and don’t forget to rate and review us wherever you listen!

#RossAndPhil #RossAndPhilTalkMovies #MoviePodcasts #Podcasts

For more on Phil Hobden check out www.philhobden.co.uk , Twitter (@PhilQuickReview) and Instagram (RossAndPhilTalkMovies)

For more on Ross Boyask search @RossBoyask on Twitter, Instagram or Facebook


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Grosse Pointe Geek’s Ten Favourite Scenes of 2018

Grosse Pointe Geek’s Ten Favourite Scenes of 2018

A Blog Year In Review

Grosse Pointe Geek’s picks his Ten Favourite Scenes of from the movies of 2018…

12 Strong

The Tiangi Gap Battle – Chris Hemsworth, plus the special forces and their Afghan allies mount up and charge a fifteen thousand strong Taliban army on horseback – what follows is a veritable cacophony of bombs, bullets, grenades, explosions and gunfire that is made all the more incredible due to the fact the film is based on a true story and this battle actually happened!

 

Mission Impossible: Fallout

The last 20 minutes   – an astounding feat of eye-popping action choreography and amazing stunt work  – and yes that really is Tom Cruise flying that helicopter.

 

Avengers: Infinity War:

Thor’s arrival in the battle of Wakanda – “Bring Me Thanos!” (an entire army proceeds to soil themselves)

 

Solo: A Star Wars Story

The Kessel Run –very well handled by director Ron Howard and sadly pretty much the only thing this film got right.

 

Blackkklansman:

Looking to infiltrate the Ku Klux Klan  – African American Police Detective Ron Stallworth (John David Washington) gets on the phone to the head of the local KKK chapter and tries to join up – the looks on his colleague’s faces (especially Adam Driver’s Flip Zimmerman) is absolutely priceless.

 

Mile 22:

Iko Uwais vs the assassins. An enormous bout of bone crushing fisticuffs that has to be seen to be believed.

 

First Man

The Moon Landing.  Neil Armstrong (a brilliant Ryan Gosling) pilots the Eagle towards the moon’s surface  – edge of the seat exciting and the standout sequence in one of this year’s best films.

 

Deadpool 2:

The Opening five minutes and the two end credit sequences  -by turns extremely rude, very clever and downright hilarious.

 

Bohemian Rhapsody

Live Aid  – Rami Malik literally transforms into Freddie Mercury in an incredible recreation of what is widely agreed to be the greatest live performance of all time.

 

Creed 2:

The training montage plus Adonis vs Viktor’s climactic boxing match

 

 

Author: Will Strong 

 


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Creed 2 (2018): Review by Grosse Point Geek

Creed 2 (2018): Review by Grosse Point Geek

A Blog

Plot in a nutshell: Newly crowned world heavyweight champion Adonis Creed (Johnson) faces an irresistible challenge by undefeated Russian fighter (and man mountain) Victor Drago (Munteanu)  who just so happens to be the son and boxing protege of one Ivan Drago (big Dolph) who killed Adonis’s father Apollo Creed 33 years previously (see Rocky IV for more).

However, Adonis’ trainer and mentor Rocky Balboa (Stallone) wants nothing to do with it, feeling that Adonis is doing the fight for all the wrong reasons and is likely to get seriously hurt in the process.

To say anymore would spoil it for you but safe to say that if you have seen any of the other Rocky films you can pretty much guess the rest.

 
What worked? Very much like 2015’s Creed, all the performances are absolutely superb – Stallone is of course brilliant as Rocky (in his 8th go around), Johnson is extremely good again as Adonis as is Tessa Thompson as his long term girlfriend Bianca. Munteanu also does very well in what could have been a standard villain role but instead manages to give Viktor a good deal of depth which was very refreshing. Finally Dolph Lundgren is absolutely superb and a total joy to behold returning to his most famous role as Ivan Drago – snotty critics take note  -never let it be said that this guy cant act as he is bloody fantastic here. Lastly the boxing matches are very well staged  – particularly the bruising climactic bout and naturally there’s a great training montage which will have you clapping and cheering.
 
What could have been better? As good as it is this sequel doesn’t quite scale the heights of its 2015 predecessor, the original Rocky or for that matter the sixth entry Rocky Balboa.
Newcomer Steven Caple jr does well in the directors chair but lacks the same raw flair and edge of Ryan Coogler (who takes an executive producer credit here) also for me the filmmakers could have had Stallone and Lundgren share more scenes together and this seemed like a wasted opportunity. Finally the film does drag a bit in the middle somewhat. 
 
Best Scene: What else? The training montage, the big fight between Drago and Creed and naturally THAT music theme.
 
Review summary: Not as bonkers as Rocky IV nor as good as some of the other entries, but despite some shortcomings Creed 2 is a damn good sequel and another great entry in this wonderful and seemingly never ending franchise. 

 


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Overlord (2018): Review by Motion Picture Manaic

Overlord (2018): Review by Motion Picture Manaic

A Blog

Sorry to say, I was disappointed with Overlord, the pulp tale of a small batch of US soldiers dropped into Nazi occupied France, mere hours before the landing in Normandy, only to discover a secret underground laboratory in which locals are transformed into zombie soldiers for the sole purpose of world domination for the Third Reich. That synopsis sounds more than a little cool does it not? Like it could be the more up-beat exploitation zombie mowing extravaganza version of the movie Downfall, which… damn, I think that’s ten years old now!

Unfortunately Overlord is not much fun, it’s R rating/18 certificate has not been taken advantage of as much as the material calls for, its story beats are generic and unoriginal, the characters are not particularly likeable and the Nazi zombie soldier stuff feels like a mere after thought for only act 3. Seriously, the mad science experiment stuff feels hardly even there, it was only the major selling point of the trailer – now you could say well, surely that’s just the trailer’s fault for giving off false impressions; true, but what else then is the movie offering up? A generic load of not very much to be honest.

When I say the characters are unlikeable – oh dear God, the characters make some well and truly stupid beyond belief decisions. After jumping out of an airplane the fact of reality is quickly established for our main heroes that there are Germans literally everywhere, they could be just off in the distance ready to shoot or around any corner turned; and I mean established very, very quickly. So what do the heroes do after grouping up and finding out only about 5 of them survived even getting on the ground? Walk and talk like they’re on a good old stroll, the Germans are forgotten about within seconds, don’t worry that their presence has been established as anywhere and everywhere, nice night for a walk isn’t it?

Not only that but the token no-nonsense grumpy guy gets saddled with the task of reminding these fools, our main characters, to stop talking so loudly, to turn their damn torches off, that maybe using a camera isn’t such a good idea; stuff a soldier really ought to know in enemy territory at night, or better yet, stuff anybody with a brain would work out through standard common sense. The real kicker for me though, was when they capture a Nazi officer just as he is about to start raping a village girl who is keeping the heroes hidden, they tie him up and the grumpy guy starts beating him up, demanding information about the underground zombie lab, and our number one hero, the absolute main character in all this, has a look on him like “this is wrong, we shouldn’t be doing this, we’re sinking down to his level”, and he even tries to stop the grumpy guy from continuing the beating, citing that “that’s enough”!

How are we supposed to feel about that? The guy wasn’t just a Nazi, he’s a rapist too and we’re supposed to feel bad when he gets beaten up; because the main character is just so good and moral and kind hearted underneath? Well screw that noise, I kept thinking of Inglourious Basterds, because, you know, the guy was a feckin’ NAZI!!! A RAPIST NAZI NO LESS, beat him with baseball bats, scalp his head, carve a swastika into his face, but no, Overlord wants to take moral high ground and suggest that violence against violence is not the way to go – WHAT???

This is supposed to be a film about zombie soldiers and you’re trying to teach lessons in humanity? Get outta here! Even though moments of gore are not shied away from, this is hardly the gore fest its rating suggests, it’s like the movie doesn’t want to allow itself to let loose and have fun with its premise, choosing instead to try and be serious, is it ashamed of its exploitation roots or something like that? The music was a mixed bag, I counted about two times it was actually really good and unique sounding, most other times it was just as generic as the rest of the film, dialogue didn’t impress, the story was told in a rather boring fashion, characters do things, not because of who they are, but because that’s just how people behave in the movies and don’t even get me started on small things like a character drying off after falling head to toe in water very quickly or a multitude of gun shots failing to alert the enemy who are literally just outside.

Overlord has no idea what it wants to be or why it should exist, it feels more like a tired obligation rather than something someone legitimately wanted to make and barely even offers what was first promised, let alone what one would expect from a halfway decent movie, you could say the acting isn’t too bad, a little unremarkable but far from terrible and on the technical front it’s ok I guess, but aside from that: no, not for me thank you.

 

Author: Motion Picture Maniac  

 


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