Phil HobdenSo 2017 is almost over and it’s that time a year again where everyone reflects back on their best and worst films of the year. So we’ve covered our best and our worst films of 2016, so before we look at the films coming up in 2017 here’s my ‘Alternative’ End of Year Awards for 2017…
The Most Entertainingly Bad Film Of The Year Award…
Geostorm
The Gerard Butler Award For Consistently Making Entertainingly Terrible Films
Gerard Butler (Geostorm)
Surprise of The Year Award…
That Any one’s left standing in Hollywood after the year of deaths and scandals…
Performance Of The Year Award…
Mark Kermode AGAIN… for his still oddly favourable reviews for his friends movies (see Murder On The Orient Express)
Just Fuck Off and Die Award…
Michael Bay & Transformers. Just stop. Now.
Least Deserving Commercial Bomb of The Year (Maybe EVER) Award…
Blade Runner 2049
Shit so I still can enjoy these films right, even though their lead/producer/co-star was a pervert/bully/ sex offender/Insert Crime Here Award
Baby Driver, Swimming With Sharks, Pulp Fiction, X-Men 2, Toy Story… agh almost ALL my favourite films. God damn you Hollywood.
Come In Your time is Up Award…
Zack Snider. You made two good films. EVERYTHING else has been deeply average. TIED with Harvey Weinstein – your a cunt Harvey pure and simple.
Trailer Of The Year Award…
Logan Redband Trailer
Let Down of The Year Award…
Hollywood. A seething industry of low lives and scum.
Yes it’s Good. But come on people its also a bit Emperors new clothes…
Get Out
Low Budget Straight To DVD Surprise of the Year!
Shot Caller
The ‘YES! See We don’t Always Fuck Up Award’
DC/Warner Brothers. They Made a Good Film! (Wonder Woman)
Fuck! We Spoke Too Soon Award
DC/Warner Brothers for Justice League
Let Down of The Year Award Part 2….
George Romero NOT coming back as a Zombie when he died.
Cameo of The Year Award…
Tim Curry’s original Pennywise The Clown in the 2017 version of IT.
The Prove That ‘You Can Come Back from Horrible Shit’ Award (Aka The Future Kevin Spacey Award)
Mel Gibson (Hacksaw Ridge, Daddy’s Home 2)
The Oscars only like REALLY famous dead people award for missing out other stars who died Award…
Garry Shandling, Florence Henderson, Alexis Arquette, Doris Roberts and Robert Vaughn
The Proof That Award Shows Suck Award…
Snubs (Didn’t wins or Not Nominated) for I Daniel Blake, Hunt for The Wilder People, Sing Street, Hell Or High Water, Jake Gyllenhaal, Kubo And The Two Strings, Silence, Amy Adams and many more
The Poof That Award Shows DONT Suck Award…
It’s La La Land… No Moonlight… No Titanic… No it’s me. The awards themselves offered few surprises, The Oscars even less, but the best picture cock up at the Academy Awards was pure gold!
The Audience Wins! Award. 2017 Sees LESS remakes/Reboots than ever before. Some still sucked.
Flatliners, The Mummy
Not ALL remakes & reboots suck Award…
IT 2017. Just awesome.
Yup we just made it for the money award (aka The Sequels Suck) Award…
Transformers Age Of Extinction
Films That SHOULD have been on my 2016 List’s but I Hadn’t Seen…
The Edge Of Seventeen, The Girl With All The Gifts, Train To Busan, Deepwater Horizon, Kubo & The Two Strings, Sing Street, Hunt For The Wilderpeople, 13th, I Daniel Blake
Next time: Phil’s Look at 2018 and a look back at my 2017 predictions…
