Blog: Grosse Point Geek – Shark Killer
Grosse Point Geek turns his critical eye to … Shark Killer? Oh well somebody had to do it!!!
Director: Sheldon Wilson
Actors: Derek Theler, Erica Cerra, Arnold Vosloo
A renowned Shark Hunter (Theler) is recruited by a South African criminal to retrieve a priceless diamond from the belly of a black finned Great White Shark.
I’m trying and failing to muster some kind of review here so bear with me – ok here goes – basically Shark Killer is the sort of film you would find mouldering at the bottom of a dvd bargain bin in ASDA or being shown at the wee small hours on the Sci Fi channel. In other words – its utter crap. The characters are totally un-engaging, Theler in the title role is a particular offender – granted he does try and summon his inner Chris Pratt, but instead just comes across as nothing more than an obnoxious git.
In addition the script sounds like it was written by a teenager, the story is preposterous and most of the time i just felt sorry for the poor shark. On the positive side the South African locales are very nicely photographed, Vosloo is always a good value baddie, it wasn’t completely boring and the effects aren’t too bad. Nevertheless i would strongly caution anyone to think twice before spending their hard earned money on seeing it, as to be honest you might as well flush a tenner down the toilet……………plus if you have it in your DVD collection people will laugh at you – alot.
Finally i would like to pass on a word of advice to whoever is producing all these shoddy Shark films that have been appearing over the past 4 or 5 years (i.e Sharknado, Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, 2 Headed Shark Attack etc).
Are you idiots listening??
It is a well known fact that there has only ever been one genuinely brilliant shark movie – its name was Jaws, you may have heard of it – directed by some bloke called Spielberg, somewhat of a hit upon release, it featured quite possibly one of the greatest music scores in the history of film, plus a mid section monologue that is one of the most incredible pieces of script writing since God chiselled the 10 Commandments! Its also seriously exciting, genuinely terrifying and overall doesn’t do a great deal wrong throughout its two hour running time.
Basically, if you haven’t seen it then i would advise you to do so asap – as by doing so you will come to the crushing realization that no matter what the budget or how much talent you think you might have – you will never ever ever ever produce anything that even comes within a million miles of being as good as Jaws.
So whoever you are – do us all a favour and give it up!!!!
Shark Killer is available on ITunes, Amazon and probably to buy on DVD – but don’t say i didn’t bloody well warn you!
Author: Will Strong