Phil's Quick Capsule Review

Blog: All Things Film – Maggie (2015) Reviewed

Do you want to see a tastefully-handled, thought provoking melodrama about zombies? Yeah, me neither. That’s a bit like wanting a violent movie about knife wielding maniacs without blood or anger.

And so, we land at Maggie; true enough, the first of its kind. I have long since regarded the zombie genre as a dead, lifeless corpse drained of every ounce of its creativity in an already oversaturated market. I hadn’t obviously accounted for this dreary borefest.

Maggie is the name of the daughter of Arnold Schwarzenegger; somewhere in a remote American wilderness, she’s been the victim of the incoming zombie plague. She’s collected at the hospital by her father to take her home for a bit before the inevitable occurs. She is taken home, and then the real fun begins; huge chunks of time devoted to analysing her mum, dad and a bunch of other nondescript dolts sit around nearly crying that “the inevitable” is nearing.

The same fate has also befallen her boyfriend, wouldn’t you know it. For the characters, no doubt an earnest and heart-wrenching sneak preview of what will happen to Maggie. For us as an audience, a sneak preview of the fucking ending we’re dying to have to sit through so we can leave and do something else.

To make matters even more Merchant/Ivory, the whole picture is washed in saturated hues; a bit like a cheap alcohol commercial. Everyone mops as if they’re drunk. And the soundtrack… occasional hits of the lower notes that pang and echo for what seems like an eternity. It all leads up to an ending you’d expect from a sorry sad of toothless. melodramatic hacks. And when it comes it’ll be no surprise – and you’ll hate yourself even more for investing the time and effort.

A more fitting title would have been World War Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..

 

Author: Andrew Mackay

 

To hear more on this review (and others like it) make sure you download the Filmsploitation podcast, part of the All Things Film network. 

Phil's Quick Review

Phil's Quick Review

Phil's Quick Capsule Review - a place for quick, informed movie commentary including Ross And Phil Talk Movies Podcast.

Listen To The Podcast…

#RossAndPhilTalkMovies on Instagram

Hamilton (2020)... the film of the musical is a phenomenal experience full of energy, drama and wall of wall music. ... Loved this. ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ #hamiltonmusical #hamilton #disneyplus #musicals #rossandphiltalkmovies… https://www.instagram.com/p/CChC43Klb6j/?igshid=b8i07iya6w1f

Calm With Horses (2020) – A Quick Capsule Review ... http://www.philhobden.co.uk/2020/07/calm-with-horses-2020-a-quick-capsule-review/

Phil’s Quick Capsule Review: Calm With Horses is a pretty low key independent Irish crime drama that is elevated from the rather average story of ex-boxer Douglas `Arm’ Armstrong … http://ifttt.com/images/no_image_card.png

Load More...